I can’t help but look at Donald Trump and see that he desperately needs help with his sex life.
Forget about whether Mr. Trump is a good candidate for president. I want to talk about him as a sexual man and shed some light on why I think he’s in real trouble, and a dangerous representative for sexual men everywhere.
I have experienced men like Mr. Trump in my life, men who violated my body, as if possessed by something outside of their control.
I’ve now come to know that the problem was not the men themselves but their lack of sexual power….
You see, in order for a man to be safe for women, he’s got be sexually powerful.
Sexual power means: you are the rightful owner of your sexuality.
That ownership is important. Just as a good horseman claims responsibility for the actions of his animal, a sexually powerful man claims responsibility for the actions of his sex.
Men who molest, rape and demean women, sexually, have not claimed ownership of their sexuality. Therefore, they believe their sexual impulses to be out of their control, outside of their conscious influence.
Think about the untrained, wild colt: the young horse has tremendous power and will, but because its power is unharnessed, can be a danger to those around him. This is how sex is for men who haven’t discovered how to get their “animal” underneath them, in service to their loving direction.
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What I see in Mr. Trump is that wild colt (although not a young one). His unharnessed masculine energy is a danger to women — and a danger to men who would follow his crude, unrefined ways.
A powerful man doesn’t act as if the horse he’s riding isn’t his when the horse gets off track and out of line. He cleans up the mess and becomes a better master. But we live in a world of unclaimed masculine power, so that, often, when a man violates a woman, sexually, the men involved try to make her the perpetrator of the crime.
Mr. Trump is a perfect example. Instead of suggesting that he would never harm a woman, when he was accused, he has sought to make the women wrong by suggesting them unworthy of being violated. (Too fat or too ugly for that!)
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A big part of the reason that Mr. Trump acts like a desperate adolescent around women is because he’s sexually immature. He has obviously not experienced deep, heart-connected sex. Once a man has taken that dive in love, he will, naturally and beautifully, ripen into sexual maturity.
When a man has tasted the power to give a woman deep pleasure, and he has drunk from the well of sexual satisfaction, himself, his need to brag about his successes with women vaporizes, like water on wind.
I know we like to think that Trump is misusing his sexual power, but we really need to see that he has no power, and that, that is his biggest problem — as it is for so many men like him around the world. Trump’s sexuality is clearly not under mature, wise direction and thus is a wild beast capable of great harm.
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When men learn to be sexual powerful, true owners of their sex, and to connect sex to love, ugly deviancies, such as his kind of sexual abuse fall away.
What we need are men who are trained in the ways of true sexual power – and boys who understand that they have sexual power, before it’s too late.
My hope is to see us stop making men wrong for being sexual, and instead start encouraging them to claim the power they have as sexual beings – so love and dignity can emerge, rather than shame and abuse.
What do you think? Share your opinions in the comments below.
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Photo: Getty
If you believed Race was THE qualifying element for Obama over his actual record, actions and rhetoric; then you are exactly the ilk that would vote for Hillary simply because of her Gender, while turning a blind eye to her crimes, negligence and the countless bodies that have shown up in the Clinton wake.
And Hillary is a lying slag that will say anything, do anything and then hide behind a Social Justice Stream of BS. She is diectly responsible for 4 dead US citizens in Benghazi, at the helm of the creation of the faux renditions of ARAB SPRING & ISIS, as well as being incapable of managing secured, sensitive and classified information. Her actions don’t speak to credibility nor capability. I care not for her because she is a woman. I would not select her because is a a daft propaganda demogog that will continue the Socialist decline and death of America.
Boris, I can appreciate what you’re saying, but my only intention in using Trump in the discussion was to look at his sexual power or lack of it — not to debate whether he’s an appropriate person for the presidency.
Well stated, ma’am. On the money (as it were). Brava.
Thanks Kay!
Propaganda. Have you seen his wife? For many years thump has had 1000’s of women throwing themselves at him. Only now some come forward. Total bs
Tom, do you think they’d throw themselves at him if he were poor? Could he depend on his love of women or his bedroom skills to attract those gorgeous women? Something tells me “no.”
That says more about what women chase than who Trump is.
Beautifully articulated. Thank you! When I think of him this way, it fosters my compassion, and likewise deepens my life’s work and commitment to help us all mature and grow in the relationship and sex department!
Sonika, I’m happy to hear that this was meaningful for you. 🙂 Thanks for letting me know.
Now I understand who the heck is voting for Trump, I just couldn’t figure it out. It’s sexually weak men!
Thank you for your brilliant explanation. I feel sorry for Trump, but I agree that he is very dangerous. What do you do with men like that?
Beatris, you be the kind of woman who attracts a sexually whole man. 🙂
This is a no brainier to me. Why would any conscious self aware woman ever think that a man like Trump, who violates women, is sexually powerful. He is a totally a turn off to me! I think many unconscious women seeking fame money or status might find him attractive, and Trump would exploit their insecurities and vulnerabilities and many more were just simply just victims of his insecure ego and immature masculinity. Needing the obvious to be pointed out and explained to us is not necessary. Or perhaps I’m wrong and that some women are not already aware of… Read more »
Elsa, I point it out because it’s not being framed this way, (in most people’s minds) and I think it’s important to see that this isn’t what a sexually powerful man does.
There are definitely nuggets of truth and wisdom I this article. The idea of not having this need and this sense of desperation for sex is something a sexually powerful man doesn’t worry about. A well-fed man is not going to be breaking in to every bakery just to make sure he has something to, lest he waste away. As of now, I’m not having the volume (quality obviously being more important) of sex that I would like, not carrying around that kind of attitude is paramount if I ever want to have more, and better sex. I make sure… Read more »
“There are definitely nuggets of truth and wisdom I this article. The idea of not having this need and this sense of desperation for sex is something a sexually powerful man doesn’t worry about. A well-fed man is not going to be breaking in to every bakery just to make sure he has something to, lest he waste away. ” Interesting then that it isn’t men who are railing against porn, sex bots, and prostitution. It seems that women feel that have an inherent interest in controlling men’s sexuality by controlling their access to sex. Places sexually powerful in a… Read more »
Couldn’t agree more Karen. Trump doesn’t symbolize any male role model that I would want my boys to mimic…and certainly not a man I would let within 1000 feet of me.
Trump is NOT a sexy man – he exudes no sexiness, no smouldering, red hot passion in his regard or in his physical contact even when he kisses his wife – on the cheek, if you please. He despises women because they make him feel a masculine inadequacy in their presence. So he prefers money as it does not laugh at him in bed, and gives him the false power he so hungers after. Even his body language screams this out loudly in his every movement. I feel great compassion for him.
I now understand and so true
Well done
The wrong type of woman maybe attracted to money, Cars. Real types of women do not fall in love with a man for power or gold.When he meets a real women. She would refuse him & think what a very stupid man. Sadly many women will allow this type of man to continue with his ideas of what a woman wants. The gold diggers. He will not change he is getting what he wants from these women. Give these women a £1000 dollars they. They would have sex with him. That is not love it is prostitution. A woman in… Read more »
Bring back the days when a man was respected for honesty, integrity and chivalry!
“Sexual power means: You are the rightful owner of your sexuality.” Bingo…! Love this perspective on masculine sexuality Karen. Every woman who has been violated will be nodding their heads in agreement…and perhaps so will the truly sexually empowered men who read your post. There’s nothing quite like a sexually empowered man to take us to places we’ve never been before—safely, respectfully and powerfully. Great article.
Jude, I like what you said here: “There’s nothing quite like a sexually empowered man to take us to places we’ve never been before — safely, respectfully and powerfully.” Now that’s another piece to talk about!
Sorry..I couldn’t get past the first line. All i can say is “no shit!” As a #nevertrump girl, I could see from day one that Trump uses money, power, women, cars and now the office of POTUS to stroke his masculine ego. I’m just wondering why we didn’t have this conversation from day one? Why our media is so dishonest and partisan that they were salivating at the mouth to help the right nominate this guy, because they knew that their crooked candidate didn’t have a chance against any of the other 16 candidates? Wikileaks revealed that my suspicions were… Read more »
I would argue that Clinton gets held to a stricter standard because she is a woman. The world doesn’t give women “passes” for being women. It’s harder on women who try to break the glass ceiling. I think the Wikileaks proved that Clinton is fairly sincere and more honest then people believed.
Erin, I agree. There’s no “female pass.” And we wouldn’t want one, would we?
There’s “no female pass” to you because it’s literally the air you breathe.
Ask any male victim of DV about it some time.
The irony. Women that are so quick to declare what men have and dont have and tell us that we are blind to it if we don’t see it turning around and telling us that what women have and don’t have and we’re supposed to leave it at their word….
I love what Karen herself said in her book: “It’s best not to hold a woman to the same standards [of keeping her word] as you hold yourself…A woman’s ‘truth’ changes with her shifting feelings.” This may not completely apply but there ARE differences, and they [women] don’t ALWAYS perceive them correctly. Overall, though, I believe Karen has terrific insights and I LOVED the book.
@ Erin
I don’t know about that. I rarely if ever hear of the alleged domestic violence she perpetrate against Bill Clinton shorty after his “affairs” became public. I don’t even think she’s ever even been questioned about it. I seem to remember Bill Clinton being questioned about it, but not Hillary. Would a male candidate be given a pass on alleged DV in the current year? I doubt it.
Wikileaks proves exactly the opposite: she is manifestly insincere (except when she’s dissing those with whom she disagrees) and congenitally dishonest when facing legal consequences (“I don’t recall”). Trump is an immature, narcissistic buffoon but he’s not politically corrupt. I can’t believe the number women who seem to be letting their personal revulsion at Trump the man obscure the manifest public misdeeds of her, especially her destruction of women who had the temerity to tell the truth about her sexual predator of a husband, whom she defended and enabled.
” The world doesn’t give women “passes” for being women. ” The roughly 63% shorter sentences that women tend to receive seem to indicate otherwise. Naked statues of Trump (hundreds of them) being art and a single naked statue of Clinton being a misogynistic attack would as well. The FBI literally said that if anyone else had done what Clinton did with their emails they would be facing serious prison time, but With her everybody just sort of shrugged. Trump calls Hillary a nasty woman minutes after she insulted him and for some reason that’s spun into an attack on… Read more »
Stacie, I think it’s not being discussed because most people don’t make this distinction. They see his behavior as normal for a man with his financial power. Thanks for chiming in…
Other than the fact that Clinton gets a pass for her particular brand of lawlessness and nastiness because she’s a woman. And, well, we just aren’t allowed to tell the truth about someone with no character if she is a “she”. That’s pretty much true. For all the talk about respecting women and treating women right no Clinton supporter seems to want to talk about how Clinton herself treated the women that accused Bill of sexual assault/harassment. They say it isn’t relevant because those were Bill’s actions not hers but then turn around and say that if a man that… Read more »
@ Danny
It isn’t just that. The Clinton Foundation paid women less than men. By the definition Clinton uses to promulgate the “wage gap” myth, the Clintons are being sexist to women. It’s amazing how women get a pass for the “wage gap” when they do it to other women.
As we used to say, “right on!”