I can’t be the only one, surely?
My brain feels like it’s melting and about drip out of my ear — like some kind of past-its-sell-by-date novelty candle. Why? Nursery rhymes.
If I have to Row, row, row my boat down another stream, I’m likely to deliberately crash it into the river bank and set the wreck alight.
I just don’t get it. Why are they all so archaic? Why are they all so dull? Why are they all so… ‘Nursery rhyme-y’?
This over-exposure to flat, clunkily rhyme-schemed, ear-wormy, nauseating verse is making me more than a little irritable: which, perhaps, is the whole point. Maybe they were designed by a shadowy part of the government as a subtle form of psychological torture to keep parents brain-dead during the early years? On reflection, this would be overkill – sleep deprivation is fulfilling that function quite nicely.
Don’t get me wrong, they work. Nursery rhymes are like catnip for kids.
My son’s entire demeanor changes when he hears about the aforementioned watercraft and its oar-based method of propulsion. He can be fully on a one-way trip to the dark side and the mere mention of that boat will bring him back to a smiley state (for which I’m grateful).
Yet, the thing is, I hate still them. I used to be a thrusting young professional. Actually, I was never a thrusting young professional. Whatever I was, it was infinitely more exciting than the automaton I’ve become – parroting rhymes, on a seemingly endless loop.
- There’s Old MacDonald, who, the rhyme tells us, is in agriculture. Good for him. Why I’m required to spend whole chunks of my day listing an inventory of his livestock (and the sounds they make) is beyond me. Yet, my son seems to enjoy the experience.
- Another classic comes in form of If you’re happy (and you know it) clap your hands! My son loved this song way back when he couldn’t clap his hands. I remember the song knowingly taunted me as I sang, gaining no response from him (an omission that, if the lyric is to be believed, suggested the boy wasn’t happy at all). Singing these songs is often a very thankless task.
- Then there’s The Wheels On The Bus – they go “round and round”, don’t you know? All day long – which is roughly how long this particular song seems to go on for. Add in the need to think of new fun activities for the people on the bus to be involved in and you’ve got an instant headache for any mum or dad. My favorite variants include: “The daddies on the bus, sing a boring song – all day long” and “The passengers on the bus glare at the parents of the crying child…”
They’re just all so hopelessly boring. I can’t be the only one feeling this, surely? Nor can I be the only one who has adapted the lyrics.
Nothing major, but enough to keep me from losing the plot.
For example, my son’s refusal to go to sleep, well past 9 pm (after I’d cooked an elaborate meal for my other half’s birthday) led to: “If you’re a grumpy baby (and you know it) scream and cry. If you’re a grumpy baby (and you know it) scream and cry. If you’re a grumpy baby (and you know it) and you really want to ruin a meal that daddy sweated over for hours… If you’re a grumpy baby (and you know it) scream and cry.”
If you have your own unique Nursery rhymes, let me know. In the meantime, I’ve got to go. I need to tell the tale of Incy Wincy Spider (again) – a lesson in sheer futility if I ever heard one.
—
The Good Men Project is different from most media companies. We are a “participatory media company”—which means we don’t just have content you read and share and comment on but it means we have multiple ways you can actively be a part of the conversation. As you become a deeper part of the conversation—The Conversation No One Else is Having—you will learn all of the ways we support our Writers’ Community—community FB groups, weekly conference calls, classes in writing, editing platform building and How to Create Social Change.
◊♦◊
Here are more ways to become a part of The Good Men Project community:
Request to join our private Facebook Group for Writers—it’s like our virtual newsroom where you connect with editors and other writers about issues and ideas.
Click here to become a Premium Member of The Good Men Project Community. Have access to these benefits:
- Get access to an exclusive “Members Only” Group on Facebook
- Join our Social Interest Groups—weekly calls about topics of interest in today’s world
- View the website with no ads
- Get free access to classes, workshops, and exclusive events
- Be invited to an exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” with other Premium Members
- Commenting badge.
Are you stuck on what to write? Sign up for our Writing Prompts emails, you’ll get ideas directly from our editors every Monday and Thursday. If you already have a final draft, then click below to send your post through our submission system.
If you are already working with an editor at GMP, please be sure to name that person. If you are not currently working with a GMP editor, one will be assigned to you.
◊♦◊
Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? Submit here:
◊♦◊
Have you contributed before and have a Submittable account? Use our Quick Submit link here:
◊♦◊
Do you have previously published work that you would like to syndicate on The Good Men Project? Click here:
Join our exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” — where community members are encouraged to discuss the issues of the week, get story ideas, meet other members and get known for their ideas? To get the call-in information, either join as a member or wait until you get a post published with us. Here are some examples of what we talk about on the calls.
Want to learn practical skills about how to be a better Writer, Editor or Platform Builder? Want to be a Rising Star in Media? Want to learn how to Create Social Change? We have classes in all of those areas.
While you’re at it, get connected with our social media:
- To join our Facebook Page, go here.
- To sign up for our email newsletter, go here.
- To follow The Good Men Project on Twitter, go here.
◊♦◊
However, you engage with The Good Men Project—you can help lead this conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Join us!
◊♦◊
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
The Good Men Project is an Amazon.com affiliate. If you shop via THIS LINK, we will get a small commission and you will be supporting our Mission while still getting the quality products you would have purchased, anyway! Thank you for your continued support!
—
Previously Published on Huff Post UK
—
Photo Credit: Pixabay