Planning, spontaneity, and locked doors are key for the sex life of new parents.
Becoming a Dad brought many changes and one that was most surprising to me was our sex life.
Before our daughter was born we were, in many ways, more wild and free. Anywhere and (almost) any place in our home was fine with us. We had a great love life and plenty of it for both us. But, with midnight feedings and diaper changes, our energy and desires waned more than a little bit.
Those were tough times. Very tough times. Often we’d fall asleep in each other’s arms. Days blurred into night and back again. I don’t know how we survived those times, but we did. And, I believe we’re stronger for it. Some friends of ours didn’t survive it.
As our child grew up, this new schedule became more regular and we aligned ours with hers. That’s the truth, isn’t it? Things sexual swung back into a rhythm that reminded me of days (B.C.) before child. The biggest new challenge was that we became ever mindful of that little person that could roam the halls or, call out for us in distress, wreaking havoc on the time we thought we had carved out for ourselves.
Locking the bedroom door became a mandatory precaution.
Now that our child is older, things have shifted a bit again. Once she is ensconced in her room with Youtube playing on one device and a few others at her fingertips, we barely hear from her. Usually it’s just a matter of telling her good night, locking our door, and we able to escape and do what we want with each other. But, we do have one other option that many don’t.
During camping season, our kid heads to the local campground with my in-laws. This gives us plenty of opportunities to pursue one another. And, when we really want to get away, we plan a retreat or couples weekend at a hotel in a nearby city for the weekend or, something further away.
Does it take more time planning? Yes. But, we have managed to add an aspect of spontaneity that seems to work for both of us.
And isn’t it just a few more years before she heads off to college?
Photo: Jonathan Youngblood/Flickr