“This is my confession. As dark as I am, I will always find enough light to adore you to pieces, with all my pieces.” — Johnny Nguyen
I was once stuck in a terrible relationship that I convinced myself was not too bad. My partner seemingly loved me, he bought me flowers every other week, he took me on fancy dates and spent numerous hours speaking on the phone with me every night.
On the other hand, whenever he would be displeased about something, he would act out in extreme ways. He would sign into my social media accounts and send nasty messages to my friends — that obviously caused a rift between me and my friends. He would hit me frequently and abuse me verbally.
He, however, continually assured me of how much he loved and adored me, and was always quick to apologize for any wrongdoing on his part. I developed a warped sense of what true love looks like.
The final straw, though, was when he beat me into unconsciousness and tucked me into my bed and left. I knew at that point that I was stuck with the idea of being in love with the person I fell in love with. I could not stay with him any longer.
It was such a hard break up and it took me years to recover from the pain of it all. Relationships have their ups and downs and I knew that to enjoy the rainbow, you have to weather the storm. I thought he really loved and adored me despite our challenges.
Fast forward to today, I finally know what it means to be in a loving relationship where your partner truly loves and adores you. I know how it feels wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone. It is lovely to be with someone you love and are in love with, and your feelings are reciprocated.
It is great to be in love with someone who truly adores you.
How do you know that your partner truly adores you?
According to psychology, love can be simply defined as wanting the best for the other person.When you love someone, you really care about that person, and really want to get to know them.When you love someone, you understand who that person is and cherish them for it.
To adore someone signifies that you regard them with the utmost esteem, love, and respect; you honour, admire and worship them; you are devoted to them. In a nutshell, adoring someone encompasses all the love you feel for them and adds a cherry on top.
Today, I am going to share 9 awesome clues that your partner really adores you.
1. Someone who adores you does not manipulate you
“Controllers, abusers and manipulative people do not question themselves. They do not ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.” — Darlene Ouimet
In my last relationship, I was constantly scratching my head, asking myself if my partner is really into me as he says or not — only to realize later on that my intuition was somehow right, he was really not that into me.
Honestly, when someone loves and adores you, they don’t let you wonder if they do, or leave you hanging. They don’t send you mixed signals. In fact, the opposite is true. Their actions speak louder than their words, and they show their love through their actions rather than just telling you they love you.
They consistently do small things they usually wouldn’t do for other people, which, when combined, are a good indicator someone genuinely cares about you and adores you.
They also do not manipulate you. Ever.
2. Someone who adores you provides a listening ear
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey
When your partner truly adores you, they do not just hear what you have to say — they listen.
Anytime you need to talk, your partner is there to listen. You both know you have each other’s emotional support and that your partner is not a burden for you. They seek ways to help you relieve your stress and sometimes it is going on walks together or watching a movie.
They are also a good sounding board even when you need to rant or vent.
Someone who truly adores you will be interested in spending time listening to your problems; they will not have other priorities. Those who love you want to do something if they see you are struggling.
3. They make future plans with you
There is only one happiness in this world, to love and be loved. — George Sand
Someone who adores you will enjoy making plans with you.
When they make plans, they always include you, because it feels natural to them to see you in their future. Not only that, but they also have thousands of ideas of things you can do together.
They will mention a movie they want to watch with you, a concert they want to go to with you, a country they want to visit with you, or even the house they want to live in with you.
4. Your people become their people
“Our love for each other turned your people into my people, too.” — Lizzie Natesky
When you are in love with someone, you want the world to know you two are together. In particular, you want your loved ones to know it, and you can’t wait to introduce them to your partner.
Someone who truly adores you will feel the need to introduce you to their family or best friends.
They are also curious to meet your loved ones. They want to know about the other relationships that have shaped you into the awesome person you are. And they will make an effort to get along with them.
Someone who is in love with you will not be ashamed of you.
5. Someone who adores you is helpful
“The art of being helpful is behaving as if everything we do matters — because we never know which ones might.” — Gloria Steinem
When someone truly adores, they feel the need to help you. Your personal growth and development is a win for them, too.
Someone who adores you will want to at least relieve your stress whenever they can. They will show their love through their actions — especially if their primary love language is “acts of service.”
6. They give you their time
“You always have time for the things you put first.” — Jaisal Aery
When someone loves and adores you, they will give you their time and attention, and you will notice it.
You will not have to wait long periods before seeing them — unless you are in a long-distance relationship. In which case, when two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far, no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.
Otherwise, when you have a chance to see each other, the partner who loves and adores you will happily make the time. It is important to note that time apart is essential to relationship health as well. You don’t want to spend your whole time with someone, no matter how much you love each other.
Even when you are in love, you must make enough time to pursue your dreams and focus on your hobbies or career. In fact, time apart is exactly what makes you long for the other person, and makes your moments together more potent and memorable.
The time you spend apart is time that will help both of you appreciate how much you love and long for each other.
7. Someone who adores you, loves you
“You are my best friend, my human diary, and my other half. You mean the world to me and I love you.” — Amy Barr
When someone adores you, you can tell by the way that they love you. They make effort to find out your top love languages and endeavour to do things to make you feel loved.
They do not judge you by your past. They leave it in the past and are happy that they get to share a future with you.
8. They forgive you for your mistakes
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” — Alexandar Pope
Someone who loves and adores you will forgive you for your mistakes.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” — C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
9. They put in the work for the relationship work
“I have always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come.” — Michael Jordan
Good relationships do not just happen. They take time, patience, and the effort of two people who really want to be together.
The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the easier it becomes for their flaws to stand out. That is just the way life is. This is why children are abandoned, marriages fail, and friendships fall apart.
You might think you are in love with someone until you see how they act when they are caught in a snag, or out of money, or hungry, and tired.
When someone is in love with you, they are aware of your flaws but choose to be with you and highlight your strengths over your weaknesses.
Loving someone can be patience, pain, and sacrifice. And choosing to stay and do your best to make the relationship work. When someone adores you, they want you to be happy with them.
Whenever you two have a disagreement, they will focus on handling the conflict and sorting things out.
10. They celebrate the little things about you
May you find inspiration in the big picture, but may you find love in the details. — Adrienne Maloof
Those who love and adore us tend to remember a lot of what we say and what we do.
It is nice when someone remembers little details about you. Not because you keep reminding them but because they care.
Love is in the little things.
PS: It is not cliché to say when you are adored by your partner, you will know. You really will know. Trust the process.
Wishing you loads of love in your relationships.
May you find true love and adoration, and may you fall deeply in love with your partner over and over again!
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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