Jayson Gaddis knows when he’s disconnected. And knows what to do to connect back again.
Prior to having any tools to get connected to myself, I didn’t even know I wasn’t connected to myself.
So, the first step was to recognize and be aware that I’m somehow disconnected. This took me quite a while to figure out. I would not have been able to see it on my own. I needed trusted guides, a men’s group, a powerful woman in my life, and rock solid support.
So, how do I know I’m disconnected now, and what are the signs?
Signs and symptoms I’m disconnected:
- Feeling a low grade funk (some folks call this grumpy)
- My porcupine quills extend. I’m less approachable and others can feel it
- Flatter affect. My face looks serious, dull, and emotionless.
- General depressed vibe
- Irritability, easily annoyed
- Easily triggered by minor things thus i get into silly fights with my partner and let small stuff bother me
- Objectifying women which eventually leads to porn use (before I quit porn)
- I eat more sugar. I get sugar cravings and eating when i’m not interested in eating
- Increased facebook or random email/internet cruising
The way back into self-connection?
The way back home, to my core lovable, beautiful essence is to feel what I have not been feeling. This requires me being in my body where feelings and emotions live.
Prior to any inner work, I spent months and years feeling the above signs and symptoms and thought it was normal and like I just had to live this way.
Once I recognize these signs and symptoms (Some of these are so subtle it’s tricky to catch on quickly. Sometimes, it might take me a few hours or a few days), I know that I must make it a top priority to feel. I must dive into my heart-body and feel. Feel my hurt, rage and grief. The more I feel these friends of mine, the more I come back into my center, back into my heart, back into my soul’s body. And, once again I’ve come back home to myself and it feels soooooo good.