It’s January 9, and I have yet to make the 2022 New Year’s Resolution List.
How about you?
In 2021, I was ready to serve my Mom for another year, while I knew it was becoming harder as there were still no vaccines that could save her or us from the virus plaguing the world. But also, she has become frail, and yet if I had to do another year of accompanying her to the hospital, I would have done it for her.
But Mom has plans of her own; she has co-created her death with God so that she can say goodbye to us properly, and she did.
It will be a year since she passed, and the days have gone so fast. Yet, the memory of her remains fresh on my mind, that every day I start the day thinking about her, and sometimes I wonder if I have done enough for her, and if Mom reads my mind, how sorry am I for the days when I wasn’t loving, or I was sad while doing the task of being with her.
The year 2021 was a surprise, and as I’m writing this story, I ask myself, should I still plan for this year?
…
As the year 2021 was about to close, I was sick, and I had to be in bed for a few days, and I didn’t write at all.
And when you are sick, your mind wanders. It asks you many questions, most of which don’t have answers.
I recovered, and on the first day of 2022, I was able to have a proper cup of coffee and enjoyed the day, as that is what the New Year gives us. It gives us hope.
New Year’s Resolution List
There have been years in my life that I wasn’t excited when the New Year came, and this year while I’m hopeful, I don’t know what I want to happen this year, except maybe to have the financial freedom as each year I’m getting older, and I have to be prepared for what is to come.
On a personal level, I promise myself that I would always choose love over fear, and the language of love over the language of anger.
Maybe it comes with age, now that I’m in my 50s, and with what we all experienced in the last two years, not much excites me, and I know that feeling has to change because having that feeling could be stopping me from experiencing life fully.
As long as I’m still breathing, there must be a reason why I am still alive.
Today, my attention was drawn to a Notion template. If you are not familiar with Notion, it is an all-in-one productivity software, which I want to learn more about. Then, maybe this year, I can become more productive.
A template someone is selling says it can help you plan 2022 better. Many people would likely download it or find similar ways to be accountable with their New Year’s resolution list.
As I was writing this story, my friend was dancing, humming a song, and I paused from writing and began to have a short conversation with him. I laughed, not because of his dance moves but because I could see that he was excited about his day.
And that could be what today means, it was to remember Mom, it was to remind that I made it through another year, that the days are moving ahead, and that maybe I have to enjoy the time with my friend, or it could be as the song of For Once in My Life by Stevie Wonders began to play, to remind that for once in my life, I am moving forward.
For once in my life (For once in my life)
I won’t let sorrow hurt me
Not like it’s hurt me before (Not like it’s hurt me before)
For once, I have something I know won’t desert me
I’m not alone anymore (I’m not alone anymore)
For once I can say, “This is mine, you can’t take it”
As long as I know I have love, I can make it
For once in my life, I have someone who needs me
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash