The Family Backstory
As I parked my car at the mall a short time ago, I saw a lovely sight. A father stood at the opened hatchback of his SUV changing the diaper of his infant. I further observed him talk to and play with his baby as he carefully secured its onesie. The father appeared to enjoy these priceless moments with his precious tiny one.
Once I entered the department store, I observed two additional fathers pushing their infants in strollers as they leisurely shopped in the men’s department. Neither seemed to be rushed. Rather, they had pride in their eyes as they stole glances at their babies while making their clothing selections.
These incidents caused me to reflect on my past.
Things were very different when I grew up. Parental roles were clearly defined within the majority of homes including mine.
Mothers traditionally took the lead with all things related to the custodial care of their infants and children as well as the overall emotional support of their family. On the other hand, fathers typically maintained leadership for all the financial aspects of their household including being the primary wage earner and assuming the responsibility for the maintenance of the house and vehicle. They also ensured that the physical needs of their family were met.
Now, what used to be known as traditional parents’ roles are less likely to exist within most families because family dynamics have changed. Here are some of the basic characteristics of the twenty-first-century family that substantiate this.
- More mothers than ever before are members of the workforce. Whether they work at home or outside of the home, they are employed during varied shifts. This increases the need for shared parental responsibilities.
- Many mothers earn higher wages than fathers.
- The extreme cost of child care has caused parents to make personalized decisions that impact their family life. As a result, several men opt to be stay-at-home fathers to provide full-time care for their children until they enroll in school while the mother exclusively works.
- The number of single-parent families has risen and is either exclusively headed by mothers or fathers. For many mothers and fathers, they function as the only parent. This may be temporary as in the cases of military deployment, illness, or the relocation of a parent for a job opportunity. Other times this may permanently happen due to spousal or partner abandonment, death, or adoption.
- Regardless of their occupational status, more fathers than ever before unapologetically take the lead in performing household tasks historically designated for the mother. Some of this includes things like combing their daughter’s hair in beautiful styles, preparing delicious meals, and cleaning the home.
- Conversely, more mothers than ever before take pride in performing contributing roles for the household once considered the exclusive responsibility of the father. Some of these include managing the family finances, mowing the lawn as well as landscaping the grounds of the home, making plumbing or electrical repairs within the home, and being the primary driver for the family whenever they travel.
These and several other changes within the structure of the family have caused fathers to assume more of an active role in meeting all of the needs of their children.
What Really Made the Difference?
Fathers are more empowered these days to be who they are. They have a higher level of confidence to make sure that the needs of each family member are being met.
Active fathers today are not consumed with arrogance and disdain as they provide the care that only they can provide for their children. Their ego nor a heightened sense of masculinity do not overshadow the unconditional love that they have for their children. And they boldly demonstrate their affection for them when they need it the most. A hug, a kiss, words of comfort and encouragement, or the change of a diaper are some of the things they do. Always. At home. In public. With love and with devotion.
Twenty-first-century fathers are making a wonderful difference in the lives of their children and families.
Fathers today are simply awesome.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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