
For the first time in my life, I needed a sleeping pill to sleep last night. I was scared to stay awake when I turn 30. I felt like the age 30 is fast-forwarding me toward the end of my life, and the goals I couldn’t accomplish kept haunting me.
Next morning I woke up groggy, and I was grumpy the whole day. Even cakes, gifts or wishes which used to make me happy didn’t make any sense any more.
By the end of the day, like the social media philosopher I am, I wanted to post a picture on my social media, with a tetchy caption.
When I started, I realized something which I hadn’t thought of until then.
Rather than complaining about the things I couldn’t do, why can’t I be positive? Yes, I couldn’t accomplish some major career related achievements, but that shouldn’t undermine everything I have did over the past three decades in general, and the past decade in particular.
So I sat down and looked back on the things I realized about myself by 30, which I would recommend anyone to ponder upon when they are about to enter the fourth decade of their life.
1. Who are you as a person?

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It took me ages to understand myself, and it mattered more than anything. So by 30, you need to be sure about several things about yourself, such as,
- Your inherent personal strengths and weaknesses
- Your secrets and whom to disclose them
- Your personal preferences and the strength to stand for them.
Your career and personal relationships will be a huge mess if you don’t clarify these by 30.
2.What are your life goals?

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In my early 20s, I was such a mess. I didn’t know which career I should pursue, I didn’t know which type of people I liked, and I didn’t know what my perceived climax is.
With time, I realized I should have at least 4 major goals.
- Career Goals
- Relationship and Family Goals
- Recreational Goals
- Retirement Goals
You need to set your heart in a fixed career within your 20s. You of course can keep changing them, but to be honest, when you are old, taking a whole new career-U-turn is not that easy. So better plan your career goals and especially which type of a life style you prefer. You need to plan your finances around the same time.
By 30, a stable and non toxic relationship is worth more than gold. Around this time, you need to discuss with your partner, if you need any kids, if you want, then how many, as well as what your goals are in child care and education.
The time is moving, even if you are stuck. So by this time, you need to understand and experiment with your recreational activities and hobbies. Do you like Golf, do you like gardening, do you like baking and cooking, do you like tie-dying underwear(just kidding! But that is a type of a hobby too)? You are probably working, and you deserve to do things that makes you happy too. So set your mind on one or two hobbies.
In my mind retirements goals are of two fold as intermittent retirement and permanent retirement. Intermittent retirement for me, is taking breaks from your daily hectic life. You could travel around the city or the world, or you can do staycation. For this, you need to plan your paid holidays, as well as the expenses you need to save up. The permanent retirement is what you should do after 60+ years. You are inevitably going to turn 60, just like you turned 30. What are your plans by then, have you signed up for a retirement plan either government or private sector? Have you started saving up, or started investing?
3. What is your life strategy?

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Now that you have your goals set up, how do you plan on achieving them? Never make strict schedules though. You never know when a global pandemic can ruin everything that you have ever planned, like it happened to me.
Make a loose itinerary of what you plan to do.
In career goals, how are you planning to get to your desired promotions? How do you plan to apply to that post graduate degree and academic work? Plan your finances and investments too. Are you going to buy stocks? Are you going to invest in Bitcoin and Crypto? Are you planning on buying real estate? How are you going to balance your liabilities with your income? Answers for these question will take a huge burden off your head.
I already talked to my partner about how our lives are going to turn out, where we are going to live and how we are going to achieve it. So if you plan on having a relationship, or if you already have one, plan on when are you going to get married? When do you plan to have your children if any? Are you goin to raise them in a religion or not, and if so how are you going to do it? Discuss these things with your partner so you know what to expect in the future.
Since I have realized I like baking, I have learnt several things about the food science that makes me feel interested in my hobby which gives me the space to experiment. Recreational strategies are easy. You don’t need to worry much. Just follow your heart, but meanwhile learn how to do them in the proper way. Learning the secrets about your hobby may give you another reason to feel satisfied in your life.
Retirement plans are one thing I still have to get my head around. I love travelling. So I’m saving up for that. For the long term though I still need to map out the things to do more than relying on the government pension scheme. You don’t have to be like me if you already plan it when you are in your 20s.
If you do that, your dream of having a warm cup of coffee on a countryside balcony watching sunset with no worries in your mind will definitely come true.
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We do everything in life, because we yearn mental peace and satisfaction. 30 years is a huge milestone in anyone’s life and it is a place to stop and be happy about what we did so far as well as plan for the life ahead.
So when you reach your 30th birthday, don’t be grumpy like me, and face it without any sleeping pills.
I’m also never going to use them ever again.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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