At some point in your life, you will meet someone who would mean the world to you. You would be wonderstruck by that person. You will gradually start getting addicted to them. Sometimes you will start wondering what’s so special about them. Yet you would never find out why. You would just keep thinking about them throughout the whole day.
You like everything about them. You get tired of many things but never of them. You try to enact many things about that special person. Their attitude, their way of talking, their small habits that you adore, and their gracefulness. You wish you were as charming to other people as they are to you. You always try to make them happy all the time. You feel alive only after talking with them. That’s when you finally realize that you’ve fallen in love.
You both start getting closer and closer. They mean the world to you. You are ready to commit yourself to your love. But surprise! They suddenly block you. Then they leave your life never to be heard of again. They didn’t even tell you anything before leaving you. You are confused. You don’t know what happened. You don’t know what to do. You’ve never felt so hurt before. It feels like they are slowly killing you. The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.
So what do you do now? How do you recover from such a trauma? You first have to realize that you should not try to get them back. Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Remember that they never really cared about you if they could leave you so easily. Moving forward in life and forgetting about them is the best course of action you can take. Following are some of the golden rules you have to follow if you want to move on successfully and be happy again.
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Forget the fantasy
You had many dreams associated with that person. Every thought about them was a fantasy to you. You may have thought about that person being “the one” for you. You may have planned that you both will marry each other one day and live happily ever after. You may have imagined your parents meeting that person and loving them as much as you do. You may have thought about having kids with them and even decided the names of your kids. It is very tempting to keep thinking about them again and again.
This is what you’re doing wrong. Even though it is very tempting to dream about them again, you’ve to resist the temptation. You have to make an effort to forget them. Trying to forget the person who broke your heart is one of the best things you can do to heal yourself. Start getting busy. Develop a new hobby. Try to be more productive throughout the day. Do things that prevent you from wasting your time thinking about them again.
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Accept your past
Although it may seem unbelievable, you’ve to accept the reality. You do not want to believe that they left you. You never imagined that they would ever break your heart. You try to feel better by telling yourself that they were forced to leave you. You do not want to accept the reality that they left you on purpose and you meant nothing to them. During the initial stages after a break-up, it really is difficult to forget your ex so easily.
However, you’ve to learn acceptance. The sooner you accept the truth, the faster you’ll feel better. Learn from your past mistakes, if you made any. You can be thankful for that person being in your life without having any hatred for them. One of the truest signs of forgiveness is when you stop wishing it had been any other way.
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Love yourself
It’s okay if you still love them. But love yourself more. Do make an effort to stop loving them. Because they clearly don’t love you anymore. Since they left you without any second thoughts. Never hate yourself for losing them. It’s not your fault if they left you without any reason. Try to fall “out” of love. When you don’t have love and trust for that person anymore, you will realize that moving on seems a lot easier.
Never forget that if you did anything wrong, apologizing does not make you a smaller person. There is no forgiveness without love and no love without forgiveness. Practice self-care to heal yourself. Accept what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.
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Cut off all contacts with that person
Do you keep in touch with your old friends just to ask them how your ex is doing right now? Doing that is a good way to prevent yourself from moving on and mess up your mental health. The best thing you can do to forget them is to cut off all contacts with them. Trying to forget them will help you heal faster. If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss out on finding the one who treats you like a priority.
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Takeaway
Moving on is like a battle. If you win, you will heal yourself a lot. However, it doesn’t happen fast to everyone. Some people can move on fast. Some people, on the other hand, may take a few years to forget their ex. It’s okay if you take more time, as long as you’re trying. But if you don’t make any effort, you will hurt yourself more. Few years down the line, you will be feeling completely happy. Looking back, you will regret feeling sad and losing sleep over someone who didn’t even deserve you.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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