4 Toxic Games Normalized in Dating

Playing hard to get

This has always been my biggest annoyance in dating because I am an impatient and curious person. I cannot play a card and sit around waiting for the other person to make their move; I need answers, and I need them now.

Playing hard to get in teenage? I somewhat get it. However, as adults, being honest and communicating right from the beginning is crucial. Instead of falling for the high of chase and hints, the mature way is to be vulnerable about your feelings and open to their reciprocation or rejection.

And if you’re not sure if someone is playing hard to get, or simply not interested in you? Take them at face value and assume they are not interested. Don’t go after people who don’t want you in their life.

Breadcrumbing

“Breadcrumbing” is all about deliberately sending messages that are inconsistent, vague, or sporadic messages. The person doing the breadcrumbing believe this will help them maintain someone’s interest without actually committing to a relationship, I never understood what kind of a selfish person would deliberately create anxiety and uncertainty in a person they like. Breadcrumbing does exactly that. When you show attention and interest one minute and pull back the next, you are undoubtedly torturing a person who wants you. There should be some sort of law against this, honestly.

If you’re not sure about your feelings for someone, keep them to yourself until you are; don’t string along someone because of your half-hearted attachment.

Silent treatment as punishment

So much talk about communication and some of us still find ourselves clicking on the nasty little ‘block’ option as a childish way of getting back at someone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for blocking someone out of your life to protect your peace, but the fact is most people are only doing it to punish others with silent treatment.

This has long been established as a form of emotional abuse because shutting down with your partner to show them you’re upset and hoping they will magically realize their mistake is outright cruel. Learn to say what you feel and have tough conversations instead of shutting down.

Provoking jealousy to feel wanted

This is what rom-coms are often centered around; getting your crush to notice you by hanging out with the hot hunk on campus, getting back at your partner by flirting with a stranger at the bar.

Why would you want someone you care about to feel the discomfort of jealousy? And you are hurting two people—your partner whom you are trying to make jealous and the person you are flirting with for all the wrong reasons.

If you cannot be an adult and communicate what you want and how you feel, should you even be in a relationship? Let go of these tactics to get what you need from your partner and tell them instead.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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