5 Clear Signs It’s Not Love — You Just Got Love-Bombed

He used to call me 5 times a day, and text me every hour and believe me you, I was ready to call him the “one”.

Glad I didn’t.

Apparently, he just love-bombed me. And we even didn’t meet online — he was someone I worked together with.

So for anyone who thinks love-bombing only happens on online dating, no — it’s not. But it doesn’t matter because this behavior is disheartening.

Here are some signs to look for:

They tell you “You’re the only one I’m talking to right now”

My friend experienced this quite recently, let’s call her Jenny.

As her roommate, I was highly invested in her story about this guy because it was also her first time using a dating app.

For the first month, they talked every minute. From morning to past midnight. I remember she giggled every time her phone rang. She said this guy literally made her feel special.

Most times he’d tell her that she was the only person he was talking to. I mean, I’d be flattered too when a guy I just knew tells me such a thing.

It’s giving exclusive vibes. I don’t blame her that later she had high expectations that he wanted to be serious.

It didn’t happen.

He slowly faded away two months later but ask her to “stay as close friends”.

Talking about a guy who wants the cake and eats it too. Ehem.

The love they give you feels so…overwhelming

Most people don’t know it when they get love-bombed because of how normal it seems to be falling in love head over heels.

The media portray it as something magical and no rational thoughts are needed.

And we eat it. No questions asked.

However, not all overwhelmingly in love is a good sign. Especially when you just get to know the person in a short period of time. In fact, it’s more normal to be suspicious than flattered.

How could you believe someone loves you when you just met them 2 weeks ago?

Even the honeymoon phase will last for a few years before it hits you with the reality of being with them.

So pay more attention when this person is giving you too much attention that you don’t even ask. Or worse, giving you promises.

We all know it takes time to see if their words match their actions.

And someone who wants to be with you won’t waste their time blabbering about how much they want to make you happy. They just put in the work right away and show you.

I learned this big lesson the hard way. So please, don’t be me.

Isn’t it too early to say “I Love You”?

I call it BS.

The older I get, the more I learn about genuine and unconditional love. It’s definitely more than just a feeling. People who are in a healthy long-term relationship know this.

So when someone you just met says these three words without even working on the relationship first, it’s better to not take it seriously.

I get it — it’s nice words to hear. But differentiate between real love and lust.

I also find someone who throws these words away so easily often they don’t really mean it. And in this case, it’s nothing but a love-bombing.

These are the common phrase love-bombers use:

“I don’t say this often but I think I love you”
“You’re literally the love of my life”
“We just met but I know I already love you”

The hot-and-cold behavior

Eventually, all this love-bombing behavior will slow down and that’s when you start telling them, “You’ve changed”.

The truth is, they never did — you just got to know their true color.

Some days you’ll find them hard to reach but other times they call you out of the blue and say “I miss you”.

At this point, you shouldn’t even bother with their existence anymore. Sadly, some people see this as a sign something is wrong in the relationship.

They want to fix it so badly that they keep trying and trying…and trying.

They chase this one person who clearly isn’t interested anymore. To be fair, when you get used to being treated like a queen and then nothing at all, it’s a hard reality to adjust.

They slow-fade you in few months’ time

The guy I used to feel desperate for liked to pull this game.

From calling day in and day out, he started calling me once every few days. And then once a week. The romantic texts died in a few months’ time and as you can guess, no more “I love you”.

What happens next is sometimes they still want to keep you in their life — only with totally different energy.

They make it clear that there’s no future relationship between you and them — even though a month ago that’s all they wanted from you.

People who are on the receiving end of this behavior agreed that it’s a lot harder to stay friends with a love-bomber.

It takes a big heart to forgive and move on without getting an apology from them.

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