
These 5 habits will destroy your life by destroying your character.
The destruction they cause can be deep enough to induce serious damage.
Those are not superficial negative things that will happen in your life.
The 5 habits I am about to discuss damage who you are as a person. Therefore, their negative effect on your life reaches almost every other area.
Remember, if you do any of these habits, it’s not the end. Don’t give up on yourself. Take this article as a wake-up call to act differently.
And if reading through the article, you feel that you are not and actually cannot do any of these habits, be extra careful. That’s your ego speaking. We are only humans and we make mistakes.
Either way, make sure you don’t make these 5 habits parts of your character and lifestyle.
Not speaking up for yourself. It builds resentment.
When you allow people to push you, you are letting go of your rights.
You have something to say and something to demand. But you stay silent. You say yes when you really want to say no. You agree when you actually disagree. You laugh when you are not really happy. And you live a life that is not yours.
Here’s what happens when you allow people to step over you.
You will start to resent them. You will resent the relationship/friendship you have with them. Or the workplace. Or you might even resent life itself.
There are two situations. The first is allowing bullies to step over you. That’s when you stay silent when you are pushed around. The second is more subtle. It’s when you allow friends and people close to you to walk over you.
They might be doing that unintentionally or they could be acting in a toxic manner. But regardless of their intentions, your boundaries are crossed.
Your foot is stepped on. Your desires and needs are not considered. What you want is not thought about.
And you don’t speak up. You don’t stand up for yourself.
Do that long and often enough and you will build enough resentment to explode. And just so that you know, resentment is a dangerous emotion. It’s a bomb. It’s not something you want to carry with you that long.
Disobeying your conscience. It pathologizes it.
What happens when someone lies to you often?
You stop believing them.
You no longer can distinguish if they are telling the truth or not. And you just can’t trust them.
The same can happen to you internally.
We all have a voice that tells us to do things or to not do them. It’s especially stronger when it comes to telling you to not do something because it’s wrong.
We can say it’s a voice that tells you what is right and what is wrong. At least, its best and most authentic guess.
And when you ignore that voice and do the opposite of what it tells you, you will usually regret it. You’ll feel stupid because you knew somewhere that you shouldn’t have acted that way.
But here comes a more dangerous stage.
When you disobey this voice and then justify what you did (or didn’t do), which you know was wrong.
You’re basically lying to yourself. And you will also lie to yourself in other manners to justify your wrongdoings and to keep yourself comfortable. If you cannot tell the truth locally within yourself, you will soon not be able to even recognize it.
That will pathologize your conscience. You will no longer be able to identify its voice or to trust it. You will not be able to trust yourself.
This can happen when someone ignores their conscience and does something wrong. Then they start justifying. And justifications are basically lies. Lies breed lies. So, this person will find other lies to tell themselves. They will lie about what they really want and need to the point of becoming someone else — a worse version of themselves. Probably the worst version possible because this is a bottomless pit.
Think about it, when you pathologize your own conscience and not be able to trust yourself, you’re letting out all of your demons and allowing them to control you.
The possibilities are limitless. And none of them are pleasant.
Breaking your promises. It makes you distrust yourself.
This is related to the previous point. But let’s discuss how it can screw you up differently.
When someone swears by their mother’s life to do something and then they don’t show up, what do we call them?
So many things, of course, and none of which are good! But one of the main things we call them is: unreliable.
The same, again, happens internally: you distrust yourself.
When you say you will do something but don’t, you break a promise that you made to yourself. Break enough promises and you will no longer be able to rely on yourself.
This includes habits like procrastination and lack of discipline.
For example, when you promise yourself to not do something because it’s bad for you, and then do it, you are breaking a promise you made to yourself. Not following up on important things to you. Not finishing (or even starting) important tasks. That all counts as broken promises, which will lead to unreliability.
In order for people to trust you, you need to be truthful and reliable. The same has to be in place in order for your to trust yourself.
Neglecting your health. It shows disrespect towards yourself.
This one is straightforward.
How much sleep do you get? How healthy do you eat? How much exercise and/or physical activity do you have in your life?
If the answer is not, “enough”, it’s a bad strategy in the long term.
Physical health affects and gets affected by mental and psychological health.
Look, life is difficult. But do you know what’s more difficult?
It’s facing this difficult life with 3 hours of night sleep, a lazy body, and junk food that is not useful, to say the least.
It makes it hell.
Actually, many of your current problems can be solved or faced in a better way if you are as healthy as you could be.
Neglecting sleep and eating shit (or not eating at all) are going to make it extremely difficult.
Now let me ask you something. How would you treat someone you love if you’re taking care of their health?
You would ensure they get enough sleep and eat good food. And it would be extra useful if they got some exercise as well. You would be proud if they hit the gym often.
Right?
Now, what about you?
Why don’t you treat yourself the same way?
Neglecting your health is self-abandonment. It shows disrespect to your body and yourself and who you are. The more you neglect your health, the worse your problems get. And the more you neglect it, the more disrespect you’re showing towards yourself.
Gossiping. It does something bad to your heart.
“What Paul says about Peter tells us more about Paul than about Peter.” ~Baruch Spinoza
Gossiping is not a noble thing to do.
In fact, it’s associated with cowardice, instant gratification, and moral superiority.
And personally, I believe it does something bad to your heart.
It’s not good.
It signals untrustworthiness. It implies that you love indulging in meaningless activities such as talking badly about others. And it shields you from the flaws in yourself and your life; it makes you blind to them because, you know, Peter is stupid and coward!
And it’s addictive.
I also believe that it tears the social fabric in a way that harms all the individuals inside of it.
Just look at, for example, workplaces where gossip is the norm. They are not functional, to say the least. Everyone, eventually, is affected negatively.
Moral superiority, I believe, is one of the main issues. You get blinded and deceived to believe that you’re “good”. In my opinion, that’s a cheap way to feel good about yourself. A dishonorable way that you, deep down, know it’s nothing but a lie.
This brings us to the same point about lying to yourself and disobeying your conscience.
Gossiping is just another way you do that.
Pathologizing your conscience is even easier when it’s supported by other people who are doing the same. And it’s easier to lie to yourself when done in groups.
There’s nothing good in that. It’s not worth it. Consult your conscience and listen deeply. It’s a good way to start strengthening it and to clear it. And maybe by clearing it you can have a better, more honorable life. Or, at least, maybe you will stop dest1roying your life.
Thank you for your time!
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Previously Published on medium
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