Now take a breath, and ponder on this, what is she passionate about?
Try visualizing it in your mind, and when you’re done, ask yourself: Is she a self-centered lady?
If you believe only an unreasonable person would be okay with being in a relationship, then you’re asking the fighter percentage of men who wouldn’t wanna be committed with a person who holds little or no regard for them or their dreams.
Believe me, you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a lady who’s only ever interested in life topics that revolve around her and her alone.
This takes me back to a few years ago when a friend of mine, Jed, put his life on hold to assist his girlfriend to actualize her dreams.
Things were rough for her, she couldn’t pay rent, so Jed offered she move in with him, at least until she could get back on her feet. He split his little income with her, and sure she got everything she needed, helped her with job hunts, and as soon as she got back on her feet, and suddenly Jed became not too good for her, he was simply a means to an end for her, so she dumped him. Jed was left heartbroken. Who wouldn’t be?
Every woman wants a man like my friend Jed, someone whose generosity is good for you and your relationship.
However, like Jed from the story, you won’t always be able to shield yourself from selfish partners.
There always will be a few times where you’ll be vulnerable enough to adore a selfish person and let them into your life as a result of charisma.
You’ll fall prey and eventually won’t be able to do anything about it.
But you shouldn’t beat yourself up over that.
There’s no logic behind love, people falling in love with those who are not right for them is not exactly uncommon.
You’re not walking, breathing “selfish person detector” so you can’t always know you’re getting in bed with a desirous person some people’s true colors don’t surface until it’s too late.
Love tends to take precedence over one’s better judgment.
Facts about someone’s voracious ways might be glaring to see, but you’d turn a blind eye to it cause you’re so in love that you are tolerant of their misdemeanor.
You won’t always be eligible to control how you fall in love, but you can control how you act on love.
You can choose not to compromise when you shouldn’t, and stay vigilant of how your woman treats you in a relationship.
And once you notice your world doesn’t revolve around her, perhaps it’s wise you consider letting them go, as it would do you a lot of good.
Here are a few signs to notice that your partner is only using you for selfish gains. Anyone can be selfish, this post is simply talking to men who love women about how to recognize selfishness in a partner.
1. She detests talking to you about your relationship.
She never opens up to you about commitment at all. She dismisses any talk of attaching a label to your relationship.
She prefers keeping it casual, and when you ask about making things official, you see her diverting from the topic.
2. She turns you into a “Human ATM”
She’s always using you as a means to her financial ends. Her personal money dispensing device.
She looks to you to foot her every bill always, never volunteering to pay on a single date.
She gets angry when you can’t get her the expensive clothes and pieces of jewelry she craves.
While there’s nothing wrong in being generous and wanting to make sure your woman lacks nothing, too many demands like this from her should be a red flag to you.
3. She only cares about her sexual pleasure during sexual intimacy.
Whenever you two get down to it, all she cares about is her pleasure.
She tells you the numerous ways she wishes to be pleased and satisfied, never wanting the table to be turned and making sure you’re sexually satisfied too.
4. She doesn’t care about your feelings.
She doesn’t care about your emotional well-being. She never invests in knowing how you’re feeling at all.
She makes zero effort and doesn’t even know how to cheer you up when you’re emotionally down and cares less if you’re, broken up inside or unfulfilled.
5. She only sees her way as the only way.
She doesn’t care about your opinions. She holds little or no regard for your say in any situation, and whenever you disagree with her, she makes it like all you care about is yourself.
6. She’s open to other alternatives.
Being in a relationship means being committed to your partner, and been devoted to your partner means not having other choices you can fall back to unless you’re not all in the relationship.
A selfish woman will have varieties of men she can move on with, as she does not deem you as someone she can have a long-lasting relationship with. She sees you as someone she can milk for as long as she wants to, and dump you when you’ve served your purpose.
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With these few signs to look out for, I’m sure you’ll be able to control how you act and what to expect from a woman who demonstrates such attributes.
So you dear gents be vigilant about who you’re getting into a relationship with to avoid setting yourself up for an “idiosyncrasy” instead of a relationship and also to avoid being the next Jed.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Quaid Lagan on Unsplash