Have you ever felt like you’re being played like a fiddle in a symphony of manipulation?
Enter the wild world of psychological tricks.
Psychology is a complex field that can be used in both positive and negative ways. While it can be helpful in understanding human behavior and promoting mental health, it can also be used to manipulate and deceive others.
From fearmongering to gaslighting, this article explores some of the most common psychological tricks that people use for manipulation and how to recognize them.
Understanding these tactics can help you protect yourself from being manipulated and also allow you to navigate personal and social situations with greater awareness and confidence.
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1) Fearmongering
This is a form of manipulation where the other person instills fear in you by using exaggerated tales of impending danger.
They will intentionally try to make you afraid of something by preying on your deepest insecurities and amplifying them, making you feel as though a situation is far more dangerous than it actually is.
The manipulator’s goal is to use fear and guilt to control your behavior.
For example, they might:
- threaten to leave or harm themselves or others if you don’t comply with their demands or wishes
- exaggerate about the consequences of a particular action or decision (e.g., claiming that they will never be able to trust you again if you make a particular choice)
- constantly express their fears and anxieties to you in order to keep you emotionally invested in the relationship
2) Guilt-tripping
I used to have a friend who would guilt-trip me every time I couldn’t go out with her because I had to work or study.
She would tell me things like “But I’m all alone and I need someone to talk to”, “Noone wants to go out with me”, and “It’s my fault I’m always there when you need me”, making me feel guilty and sad that I couldn’t hang out with her.
It took me a while to realize that her behavior was a form of emotional manipulation.
Guilt-tripping is all about making you feel guilty or responsible for another person’s emotions, actions, or problems. Once the manipulator undermines your self-esteem and autonomy, they will exploit your emotions to get you to do something you would not otherwise do.
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3) Love-bombing
This manipulative technique is tricky to identify because, at the beginning of the relationship, you — naturally — might feel flattered by a partner’s excessive attention or affection.
Gifts, surprises, declarations of love and devotion. When these things take place too soon, too much, you’re dealing with love bombing: a form of manipulation that is used to establish dominance and control in a relationship by creating a sense of dependency.
Here are some things you might notice when someone is in the process of love-bombing you:
- Quick commitment (I mean, asking you to move in after a couple of weeks?!).
- Intense and constant flattery (we all like compliments, but when something is said 10 times a day, is it really genuine?).
- Showering you with gifts (later they’ll constantly mention the expensive trips and the lavish gifts they’ve given you).
- Bombarding you with texts and calls (ignoring your time and schedule).
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4) Playing the victim
Playing the “Poor Me” card is a tactic often used by manipulators to gain attention and elicit sympathy and a sense of obligation from you.
Their goal? To make you comply with their requests.
They will portray themselves as helpless and innocent and you’ll either be the bad guy who does nothing but hurt them, or the one who must run to “save them”.
This can manifest in multiple ways, such as:
- Blaming you for all the problems and issues that arise in your relationship.
- Making dramatic displays of emotion (e.g., excessively crying or yelling).
- Portraying themselves as a victim of circumstance or a victim of your actions.
- Continually emphasizing their suffering and hardships.
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5) Withholding
Someone’s refusal to authentically communicate with you might be an attempt to control and domineer over you — it’s called “withholding”.
Insidious and hard to recognize, withholding is a manipulation tactic that involves a person purposefully withholding affection, attention, or support as a form of punishment and a means to gain power or control over you.
Withholding can be:
- emotional (e.g., being emotionally absent, not being present, not responding to texts or calls)
- physical: (e.g., refusal to engage in physical intimacy)
- financial (e.g., refusal to share money)
- communicational (e.g., refusal to share their thoughts, feelings, or plans)
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6) Gaslighting
The term “gaslighting” is currently everywhere, so I’ll assume most of you are already familiar with it.
Although denying one’s reality and making them question their perception and memories is a common form of psychological manipulation, it’s actually difficult to spot in real life — especially if you don’t know what to look for.
Most of the time, a gaslighter will follow a 3-step plan:
- Denying: They deny saying or doing things that you know happened. Keep an eye out for phrases like “I never said that,” “You don’t remember it correctly”, and “That never happened”.
- Minimizing: They minimize your feelings, making you feel like your concerns or emotions are trivial. Keep an eye out for phrases such as “You’re overreacting” or “You’re being too sensitive.”
- Blaming: They blame you for things that are not your fault. Keep an eye out for phrases like “You’re the one to blame” or “You’re the reason things aren’t working out”.
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As you can see, psychological tricks can be used to gain control and influence, or manipulate emotions, thoughts, and actions.
It’s important to recognize these tactics and to establish healthy boundaries and communication in relationships. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist if you feel that you’re being emotionally manipulated by someone close to you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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