1- Recognize your partner’s feelings
There was an interesting experiment done to help predict the strength of a relationship. When faced with pictures of their partners, those who took a long time to say they were “sad” had happier relationships, while those who said they were sad quickly ended up breaking up. This is because unhappy couples are already “sad” when they see pictures of their partners and therefore quickly qualify the picture as sad.
Lean to recognize your own feelings, as well as having empathy for your partner. It is important to be able to recognize your partners feelings as different than your own.
2- You are a better, happier person when you have a partner
Does someone new come into your life — and suddenly creates a magical effect when your lover is gone? When you are around your partner, are you grumpy, unhappy and insecure? If you feel better and more at peace when you are with your partner, your relationship will likely last a long time. You should not look to your partner to make you happy at all times. But if you are constantly happier and more at ease with people other than your partner, chances are the relationship will not last a long time.
Which brings us to the next point…
3- You are not dependent on each other for happiness
Marriage can be truly a source of happiness, but it is not the only source of happiness. Make sure to have things that make you happy separate from the other person. Be aware of what makes you happy, and seek to fill your life with those things. Sometimes this takes practice and comittment! Include your partner when they want to be included, but don’t force them to do things that don’t make them happy.
4- You do not believe in the concept of soulmate
Believing in the concept of a soulmate can be dangerous as it can overlap with the idea of destiny. Instead, our choices should be conscious and based on the happiness of both parties. Love is a choice, and good healthy relationships are built together.
The idea of a “soulmate” suggests that there is only one person who is the perfect match for you. There is no real evidence to suggest this is true. The concept of a “soulmate” can put pressure on relationships, as people may feel that their relationship is not as fulfilling as it should be if they are not with their “soulmate.”
For these reasons, the idea of a “soulmate” is often overly romanticized and not grounded in reality. A strong, healthy relationships is built on hard work and compromise, and less important is some inherent spiritual connection.
That said, belief in a soulmate is a personal choice and may be a positive guiding principle for some people.
5- You have realistic expectations
The longevity of a relationship relates to whether or not a couple has has realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations about life, such as a desire for pure happiness all the time, are very unhealthy for a relationship. Learn to understand and even be grateful for the ups and downs of any relationship. Expectations also include capturing the concept about how people change. If you expect the other person to change because you want them to change, that could be disastrous. On the other hand, it is unrealistic to expect that the other person won’t grow and change in some ways — that is a natural part of life itself.
6- Dreaming of the future together
Sharing the present moment is, of course important, because it then becomes the fabric of your relationship that can sustain and nourish you. But it is also important to be able to look to the future in a way that gives you both a feeling of happy anticipation. Setting goals together and planning the life you want together with your partner is an indication that your relationship will be long-lasting.
So.. dear reader, what do you think? Meet me in the comments.
xoxo,
DearLove.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Oziel Gómez on Unsplash