Living with an attitude of gratitude as a moral value for kids.
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During the holiday season many of us begin to reflect back over the last year. We think about what really mattered and the things we stressed about that didn’t have to matter as much. Many times our dinosaurs are nothing more than blips on the screen when we look back but at the time they are happening, they seem like the worst things in the world. This can create pockets of distress that can send us spiraling to a place where our decisions are impacted in ways we had not anticipated.
I’ve learned over the years that even your worse day will be over at some point and if we try the best we can to put things into perspective at the time we tend to get through them much better. Many adults have not been equipped with this skillset because simply put, though our parents may have done the best they could they worked with what they had just to get through life. In times like these where coaches and psychologists are at every corner we know a lot more and can put this newer knowledge into play in hopes that our children will be all the better for it.
As what I call a “second time around” parent, I’ve learned where I’ made some decisions that could have been better and where I made some decisions that could have been worse. My oldest son turned out relatively well considering my own experiences and being a 21 year old newly married mom at the time. I do realize, however that my now 25 year old son and my 14 yr old son with along with my 12 yr old daughter have different experiences with me as a parent. In this round of parenting I take more time to smell the roses and pick my battles as it relates to my kids. I also work with them on mindfulness meditation to help them with better coping skills and constantly work with them on an Attitude of Gratitude and even published a gratitude journal for kids this year. Some of the best ways I’ve found to instill a gratitude mindset into my kids are:
- Gratitude Journaling Matters – Journaling about what you are grateful for instead of what you are struggling with can help tremendously. A friend said it’s like counting the rainbows instead of counting the rain storms.
- Learning about others in poverty – Doing things like getting kids to volunteer at food banks, churches or shelters giving out meals and not just during the holidays is huge in helping them see how fortunate they are.
- Giving Gifts – Allowing your kids to participate in adopt-a-family, toys for tots or angel programs teaches kids great lessons on compassion for others especially when they can give away their own slightly used toys or put a portion of their allowance toward gifts for others. Gift giving doesn’t only have to be in December either, gifts of socks, toiletries and more throughout the year really matter.
- Charity Begins at Home – Another way of giving is to those in your own family in need. Teach them to give without judgement or expectation to receive anything back.
- Be a Friend to a Friend – So many schools have uniform requirements and those clothes aren’t always cheap. Help your child organize a used clothing drive if the school doesn’t already have a program in place.
- Movies Matter – When thinking of the next movie for your kids to see help them see the reality of life with age appropriate documentaries as a regular viewing staple in your family. Movies like http://www.120daysmovie.com/120 Days help kids realize that even though America has some issues, there are kids in other countries that are far worse off.
- Anticipate Thanks – Start a daily routine of helping your kids map in their minds what they actually plan to be thankful for that day in advance. This helps them set the tone for how they feel for the day. It also sets you up to be in a position to help them learn that every experience is a teachable moment.
Photo: Sharon Sinclair/Flickr