Do you know that perfect shaped body type, shiny hair extensions, flawless high-end makeup? Well, that is not them.
A perfected look and hourglass-shaped body can score you the first date. But it can never provide for a deep connection. Vibes never lie. Looks, on the other hand, can be deceiving.
Physical attraction doesn’t necessarily stand for the quality that draws you in. But charisma and the confident way of being? That is a whole different story.
Perhaps you are that magnetic person? Maybe you don’t even know it, or find it hard to believe? Do you doubt it? Well, that is the one quality you need to get rid of. Let’s dive in.
#1 Believe in their self-worth.
It is not like they are born confident and prosperous. They do not jump out of the womb with a sexy spark in their eyes and How you doin? line. Self-love is a skill we all need to work on. I might even go as far as to claim that loving ourselves is the most precious skill to master in life. Self-love is the number one manifestation technique.
Unfortunately, many of us will not love ourselves until we lose the weight, or get the job, or get the raise, or the boyfriend, or whatever. We often put conditions on our love.
People are attracted to confidence. Unconditional self-worth, meaning: not influenced by any external factors, people’s opinions or standards of beauty.
Doubting your self-worth spreads contagious vibes: you either attract people who are also unsure of themselves to join your pity party, or you get taken advantage of by people who recognize you suck at setting boundaries.
Your point of attractiveness will always reflect how you feel about yourself.
#2 Know when to say no.
Attractive people worship healthy boundaries. If an offer does not align with their core values, their high-level of self-esteem rejects anything that threatens that inner balance. They will not go to great lengths as to make somebody else feel comfortable at the expense of their discomfort or going against their beliefs.
How is it so simple for people to say no? Well, they are confident in what they want to say yes to. Their refusal does not come from the place of fear, missing out, but from the place of self-confidence and abundance. You need to realize that in order to go for what you want, you need to be clear on what does not strike your taste. Master the art of tuning into your intuition and not going back on promises made to yourself.
Magnetic people know how to be selfish so that they can fill other’s cup. It can be a tricky skill to master, but crucial in establishing healthy relationships: being aware of your priorities so that you can stay grounded when helping others as well.
#3 Share vulnerabilities.
Your value cannot be established upon things you have accumulated, the money you own, layers you hide underneath.
Your priceless possessions are your imperfections. The way you stutter. The clumsy way you enter the door and your ability to genuinely laugh at it. Perfection does not make you a relatable person. What makes people connect? Authenticity. The courage to share the journey of highs and lows.
We are overwhelmed with fake pursuits of unattainable beauty through the world of social media. People are so sick of artificial boobs, photoshopped skin, things we do not own but enslave us. Authenticity is your brand. When you establish your self-esteem through the self-love cultivated daily, you become authentic and bold enough to show your genuine face, no makeup or cover-ups included.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
#4 Nourish their passion.
Even if they do not have any, they live passionately. Beautiful people find charm and grace in the mundane. Once they enter the room, their energy is more prevalent than their physical bodies.
Again, you cannot fake what you are genuinely interested in. Whenever you meet somebody who passionately talks about their niche, it makes them magnetic. The healthy dose of obsession is almost tangible and infectious. It also boosts your confidence when you become an expert in your favourite domain. It does not matter if the other person fancies the same subject, but when you talk about it with affection, he or she will definitely become intrigued by your zest. It does not matter what you are doing, but how you are doing it.
External opinions fade away as your pure and genuine interests come into play. Do not ask yourself: what is attractive to others. Instead, try a different approach: what is enticing to me? What topics light you up?
#5 Commit fully to the present moment
The research of Harvard University tracked that people spend around 47% of their waking hours not focused on what they are currently engaged in.
By becoming involved in the conversation with another person, you commit to their energy, thus awarding them with a most precious gift: your attention. When you listen, they feel heard. When you focus, they feel seen.
Don’t you feel that having a conversation with another fully engaged person is a rare experience nowadays? We chase another meeting, we tick off our to-do lists, we grab a coffee on the go. If the multitasking is all the rage right now, why not standing out in the crowd and become present? This sure as hell will make you more memorable and time with you special.
What draws people in, is your awareness.
#6 Do not judge,
Themselves or others for that matter. Any judgment always stems from feeling not enough. As we have previously established, attractiveness equals the unshakable faith in your worth. So, there is nobody you have to compare yourself with or criticize for that matter.
Criticism is a form of avoidance. When you find faults in others, you are expressing resentment towards the world, but no improvements made. Your energy gets depleted. Your mood sinks low. You find yourself in the destructive loop of your own thinking.
but treat others with respect.
You do not have to agree with people on every subject, thankfully. You respect their different point of view and their right to express it.
How you treat others speak volume about you, not their behaviour. Manners make people attractive. When you treat people well, they feel good in your presence, and they always remember how you made them feel. If you are polite, smile, say thank you, it mirrors your inside beauty. Looks do not make you gorgeous. If you want to shine your beauty, act beautifully.
#7 Are not needy.
Codependency from another human is not their suit. You will not get that feeling of desperate attempts relying on others to make their ends meet. Charismatic folks value themselves, without the need for chasing external approval. They are aware of what they can bring to the table. Whatever they need, they generate from within, not expecting somebody else to come to rescue.
They make mindful choices and take full responsibility for them. Being aware of your power of reaction to any external event is a high vibrational place to be. Self-assured people do not shy away from asking a person out. Knowing what they want, they act without contemplating would-be scenarios, negative self-talk and incessant chatter.
Our level of self-awareness intertwines with the probability of success, our self-belief that determines how we think about the outcome. When you nurture faith in yourself, your body language becomes more open and receptive. You are welcoming the other person into your energetic field.
#8 Value quality.
From relationships, food to clothes and external influences.
Highly aware people have clear-cut values that help to prioritize what feels good to them. No relationships that make them feel like crap. No lousy boyfriends who fail to include you into their plans for the weekend. No fast food on a daily basis. No insane quantity of clothes just because they are in vogue.
Instead, they value selective thoughts. They are picky who they devote their time and energy to. They relish in nutritious and full-flavored cuisine, not unseasoned, low-fat salads, just for the sake of superficial looks.
#9 Don’t give a f*ck.
Not in an indifferent type of way. We, attractive people, are not lazy. We represent high standards.
We don’t care what people think about our profession. We did not choose it because of somebody else’s preferences in the first place, but because we enjoy what we do for a living. We do not give a damn about the latest trends as we are too busy creating the dream life, following true passion, choosing clothes that make us feel good and thus look good, even with belly button rings and low-rise jeans. Just kidding. Only Britney Spears could pull that off. Self-aware people have nailed Mark Manson’s book the Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, or might as well have written it themselves.
The bottom line, is most of us bend over backwards by caring too much in situations where no personal attention should be invested. Yes. Your focus is your investment. When you hand it out carelessly, your energy levels diminish, so that you have none left to provide for yourself.
The most important factor: your vibes. You will always attract people correlating with your beliefs about yourself and the world in general.
- Believe in your self-worth.
- Know when to say no.
- Share your vulnerabilities.
- Nourish your passion.
- Practice mindfulness.
- Do not judge. Respect yourself and others.
- Stop being needy.
- Value quality.
- Invest your attention wisely.
Life is always expressing through you. So, whatever beliefs you hold about yourself, you will always derive confirmation from others. When you genuinely look in the mirror and admire the reflection, the smile, the humour even bad days, you have already achieved the only acceptance you will ever need. And that is enough.
Previously Published on medium
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