Joe Doe’s Task #45: Are You Man Enough to Cry?
“Eveything hurts”. Michelangelo Antonioni
What I am suggesting that you do this week may be the hardest task of the whole year–to cry. It is essential that you reach the bottom of your emotional/spiritual cave and when you’re there, do a little housecleaning.
Crying can be cathartic. Crying can be liberating.
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Crying can be cathartic. Crying can be liberating.
I hadn’t cried in years. I never allowed myself to cry. I stifled the urge to cry. Then one evening I let loose.
What caused me to cry was a letter I wrote to my son. It was an assignment–I had to write something to my son who was spending a weekend at a retreat. It was supposed to be simple: tell your son why you love him, and why he makes you proud. I started by saying: MY SON. THOSE TWO WORDS MEAN SO MUCH…and I started to cry. To wail in fact. I was crying because I love him; I was crying because he was no longer my little boy; I was crying because deep in my soul I was worried that somehow I may have failed him…I don’t think I did, but even the chance that I may have made me sad.
And when I was done crying I was spent. Exhausted. But somehow satisfied…and calm.
Of course, I also cried when I last watched “Rudy”. But I wasn’t crying for Rudy, somehow his story touched a place deep in my soul– I thought about a girl I lost, a job I didn’t get, my mother’s death, and I cried for reasons that I didn’t even understand.
TASK:
This week you cry. I might be easier if you’re alone. How? I don’t know. Everyone’s different. But it doesn’t have to be a movie. It can be a passage in a book, or a photograph, or a home movie, which are particularly effective because nothing triggers tears like family…
And once your crying, let yourself go. Shudder. Wail. Fall to the floor. Empty the well.
Good luck
Photo by Roy Blumenthal
You havent met my family. I havent seen most of them in 30 years, nor do I care to. I changed my named, moved out of the country and dropped the English language – and to f* ck if I will shed a tear their direction.
With a high percentage of men taking there lives in Australia a recent television series called Man Up, came up with this brilliant television ad…http://manup.org.au/
Gus is the man, the only one doing it right, speaking a language that men can hear.
Always amazed at how the singular common man can rise up and do what entire societies cannot.
What I am suggesting that you do this week may be the hardest task of the whole year–to cry. It is essential that you reach the bottom of your emotional/spiritual cave and when you’re there, do a little housecleaning.” Why? LOL. Is this some new testament of “real manhood”? Yesterday I was not a man if I cried, today I’m not one if I do not?” Honestly, this has less to do with crying and more to do with expectation, or dictation as to what it is to be a man. let me offer a different approach, one that Bill… Read more »
I totally agree with you. I’ve said it before and will say it again, men are more discerning as to when where and with whom they will cry. Through the years I’ve witnessed the hardest of hard men cry. “Crying” appears to being looked at as a corner stone of “feelings” or that the percentage of time crying calibrates a man’s emotions .
Yes, crying is liberating. I find that most of the men I know are discerning as to when and where we chose to cry. At age 62, I’ve recently being diagnosed with congestive heart failure. To say the least, depression set in. Although I’ve had 5 or 6 heart attacks in the past beginning back when I was 41 (open heart surgery) and multiple stints through the years, the reality that my heart is only working at 30% put me into an all together new category. Reality really set in on the day I had my first appointment at the… Read more »
Tom I wish you the best with your health. Was sorry to hear about it and I always appreciate your insightful comments.
And as usual, I agree with your comments on this topic.
Respect from a doctor in Australia
Thank you.
here also, Tom. Missed your reply, but wishing you the best, and the best hope. I’ll say a prayer for you and yours.
Thanks DJ, I think prayers are working be cause I’m still alive and kicking.