Hadrian, the Great Roman Emperor, also known as one of the Five Good Roman Emperors. Born on 24th January 76 AD and reigned as Roman Emperor for 20 years and 10 months. Also one of the very few Roman Emperors that died of natural causes. You will recognize his name from “Hadrian’s Wall” or “Hadrian’s Arch” in Central Athens and many other landmarks.
When I hear the word “Emperor”, I immediately imagine this strong, manly, courageous man, with the military expertise to rule an army and what greater army was there than the Romans at the time. But what I didn’t see behind the term “Emperor” as my limited beliefs have tricked me, was a man with an intense love for another man, Antinous!
Hold the phone….. A Gay Emperor!! I mean the Romans had a casual disregard for homosexuality. Sex was sex. Hence the saying, what happens in Rome, stays in Rome!
The Latin language used during the classical Roman period doesn’t even have a word to describe “Homosexuality” or “Gay”.
So why make such a big fuss over Gay Emperor Hadrian, if having a passionate affair with a man means nothing more to what the Romans would consider a daily occurrence?
Well, before I answer the question, one must first be educated on what the Romans classified as what we today call as “gay”. To bed with a man was not out of the ordinary, provided you uphold the social norms of marrying a wife and producing a child as an heir. I won’t go into details with the specifics of sexual dominance and its beliefs as it’s not relevant to the story….
So to answer the question about the fuss: Well, what sets Emperor Hadrian apart from other Emperors and Roman beliefs of normal homosexual debauchery is LOVE!
He also made no effort hiding his love for his beloved Antinous. It was said that when Hadrian, in his 40’s at the time, first laid eyes on the beautiful youth Antinous on his visit in Claudiopolis, Turkey 123 AD, he fell in love immediately. So much so that he arranged for Antinous to be sent to Italy at the appropriate time for a higher education. Once Antinous arrived in around 125AD, they were inseparable.
Antinous attended royal ceremonies and Imperial tours with Hadrian, together in love, publicly. Roman society didn’t oppose this, but rather imposed that Hadrian produce an heir with his wife at the time, Sabina. Sadly, during an Imperial tour in Egypt in October 130AD, Antinous died by drowning in the river Nile. Some speculate that Antinous self-sacrificed himself, as their love affair caused pressure, and this wasn’t looking good for Emperor Hadrian. I mean bedding a man is one thing for a Roman Emperor, openly showing love and affection to a man — that’s quite another thing. Some say, it was by accident. The reasons behind Antinous’s death remain a mystery.
What is very significant in this story, is the intense sorrow and grief that struck Hadrian. It is said that Hadrian wept like a woman while holding Antinous’ body. Antinous’ death meant so much to Hadrian or better said, affected him so much, that to deal with his intense grief, Hadrian requested that Antinous be deified by the Greeks. Hadrian requested that Antinous be turned into a god, an honour usually reserved for the Emperor’s family. Actually, it’s Antinous’ legacy today that far outreaches Hadrian’s legacy in terms of the love affair. Hadrian’s legacy is mostly based on the contribution he made to the Roman Empire and the improvement of civilisation at the time.
Hadrian also founded a city Antinoöpolis, an older Egyptian village on the east bank of the Nile, not far from the site in Upper Egypt where Antinous drowned. Hadrian publicly commemorated Antinous in statues, portraits and coins across the Roman Empire and almost unparallel to the public memorial, to a lost love.
Today, 19 centuries after their separation and having their love ended prematurely by Antinous’ death, Hadrian and Antinous made their way back to each other symbolically as statues in the British Museum.
Lovers transcending time one could say!
And that’s the brief story of Hadrian and Antinous…
What I also love about this beautiful story is how Hadrian, in his time already, started to challenge to status quo on how the “love for a man” should be perceived in the Roman Empire. You see, the Greeks believed that love between men should be encouraged as defending your male lover on the battle grounds of war, only made you stronger and that there is no purer love than the love between men! The Romans however, did not encourage this philosophy. Having sex with men was simply for pleasure and nothing more. Hadrian, a scholar and lover of Greek Philosophy believed in that what the Greeks were promoting and it is this belief that made Hadrian proud of who he was and not ashamed for loving a man and showing his affection towards a man in public.
Having read this beautiful but short version of Hadrian and Antinous love story, if you would ask me to conjure up an image the term “Emperor”, it would be hard NOT to think of how love affects us all.
Strange how 1891 years ago, we didn’t need a term to be gay and loving a man was as natural as breathing (at least to the Greeks), and today we need referendums, flags, acronyms and terms to be ourselves. Where once loving a man was a privilege, today it’s something to be fought for and in some countries, purely banned and in extreme cases, a death sentence.
Our historical records are full of ambassadors and heroes that fought for what is known today as the LGBTQ community and today I want to honour Hadrian & Antinous for sharing their love that clearly transcends time and for showing us that Love is Love, and whether it’s between two women, two men or a man of great importance such as an Roman Emperor and a humble youth of no significant background, Love must be nurtured and celebrated.
Sadly, in 2021, we need more Hadrian’s out there, as there are still misconceptions about what being gay is, and what gay sex should be used for or stated as a Roman in circa 130 AD — “as there are still misconceptions about what being “in-love” with a man is , and what sex with a man should be used for”.
Is it sports and pleasure or is it love? One could ask the same question about the heterosexual world. How are woman portrayed? Or perhaps the topic to discuss is our “View of Sex” today and how have we improved/or downgraded from what the view on sex was 2000 years ago?
Not to broaden the scope too big, let’s get back to Hadrian and Antinous.
On a more sombre note, what the Romans set out to believe about men sleeping with men and their requirement to still uphold the social norms in marrying a woman and to procreate regardless of what your sexual preference is, is that those beliefs still exist to this day. Hadrian, unfortunately, did marry a woman in whom he had no interest and he had no children with her as the Roman customs demanded, and his only true love was Antinous, a man.
Today that unfortunate custom is still very much alive and in some cultures, still promoted!! To add, this custom applies to women too.
As it’s pride month, the message I would like to relay in this blog is, be true to yourself. Celebrate Love!
Do not be shackled down by social norms and customs, family pressures or beliefs that were created more than 2000 years ago. Yes, I understand this can be easier said than done.
However, the beauty of Hadrian and Antinous’ love story and the message that should be taken away is “life is too short” and we are all living on borrowed time.
Who knows what Hadrian would have done, if he knew that the day on the Nile with Antinous would be the last.
Would he have acted differently?
Would he have done more than just challenging the status quo on preconceived ideas of loving a man and having sex with a man? or
Would he have gone further by showing that marrying a man is possible, and sparing the feelings of innocent women is the right thing to do instead of upholding standards that only brings shame and pain?
Who knows?
As a romantic, I believe Hadrian would have gone further and tied the knot and made an even bolder statement.
Happy Pride to all!
Celebrate your love!!!
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This post was previously published on Modern Identities.
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