When I was eight years old, I discovered skateboarding; that summer, I spent several weeks hanging out at the local skatepark without owning a skateboard.
Every day, I would return home with a carefully crafted plan to convince my father to buy me a skateboard.
Everything I had planned in detail came out all wrong, and I spent several nights going to bed knowing that I still didn’t have a skateboard for the next day.
As fate would have it, after three weeks of torturing my father at the dinner table, he finally gave in, and the next day I was the proud owner of a brand new skateboard.
My happiness knew no boundaries.
After a couple of days, the initial excitement wore off, and I had new torture plans to execute at the dinner table.
This time I need a new pair of skate shoes.
That summer, I managed to check off several skateboarding items on my wish list, but when school started, I felt stupid.
I had spent my whole summer collecting skate items without doing much skating.
Skaters have a term for this; they call them posers.
I had all the things that made me look like a skater, but I didn’t skate
Twenty years later, I found myself browsing the internet, buying one self-help book after the other, not taking any practical action, and therefore not achieving any personal transformation.
Once again, I was a poser, or I was, until my eight-year-old self kicked my ass and corrected me.
I heard his voice loud in clear in my head; this is just like that summer when you got all the skateboard equipment you desired and didn’t skate more than 30 yards.
I have an excuse. I am eight, but you are twenty-nine years old, what’s your reason? He asked me.
Since that day in, I have honored my eight-year-old self.
I will like to share with you a shift in focus I made that got me of reading hundreds of self-development books every year and got me started practicing a few hours of deliberate practice every week.
I created A Good Evening And Morning Routine
Before I developed a good evening and morning routine, I was utterly depleted and had no energy to do any personal development.
Without a healthy evening and morning routine, I always start on the wrong foot.
Personal development is not so much about what I do but more about the thing I am willing to give up.
This starts with my ability to take a step back and examine everything I cling to.
No energy = No focus
No focus = No personal development!
I Got Rid Of All Clutter
Getting rid of clutter is the first step in personal development, no matter who you are.
It frees up mental and physical space.
I started to see the forest when I cut down some trees.
Mental clutter is not a sign of genius or creativity. It’s a bad habit that takes away my energy.
Nothing more is getting in if the trashcan is already full.
I confronted one demon at the time
I don’t care how strong you are, but there are limits to how many bad guys you can fight of at the same time — if you are not, Keanu reeves in the matrix, in that case; continue to kick ass!
If not, it’s impossible to address everything at the same time.
Initially, I fell into the trap of buying too many books on a wide range of topics and never diving deep into the fires of my own created hell.
After a while, I started to confront one demon at the time, one day at the time.
I started small
After I have identified my demon, I practice in small chunks and work on those chunks every day, step by step.
What’s the point of reading and learning all these new things if I can’t try them out for three minutes every day?
Time is something you don’t get back to, so make sure you take ownership of it.
Start small — but start!
Disciplined is not found. It is a practice
Discipline is not a set of rules, regulations, or punishment. Nor is it conformity, obedience, or enforcement.
It is not rigid or boring, discipline frees up space, creates more time enabling me to be a creative and supportive human being.
No app, journal, or tool is the key to discipline.
When I started to design my environment, I no longer needed to rely on willpower. By the way, willpower doesn’t work.
So, the aim is to create an unbalance environment in my favor.
I Focus On The Reason Why I Want Something
It can be tempting to jump into doing as many changes in my life as possible, but I learned the hard way that it is not about doing things.
It’s about understanding why I do the things I do and starting to say no to the things that no longer serve me.
Getting clear on why I want to do something makes everything more accessible, especially when times get tough and I feel like giving up.
I Eliminate distractions
Distractions are one of the biggest barriers to most good things in life.
What I’d attribute most of my success to is not so much what I do as it is what I don’t do:
-I don’t have a TV
-I don’t own a lot of things, so I don’t waste valuable time cleaning or organizing shit I don’t need
– I DON’T use social media
Distractions are like trees in the forest, and too many make it hard to see the forest for the trees.
It’s not about doing anything, and it’s about understanding why I do the things I do and setting boundaries to protect my way of life.
One of the biggest catalysts for personal change has been to make sure I understand why I am doing something and set boundaries for myself and others.
I Design My Life Around My values And Passion
If I don’t know what drives me to do what you do daily, I will do what everyone else is doing, and that is a recipe for an unhappy life.
Figuring out if something doesn’t work is just as important as figuring out if something does work.
The way I welcome change usually dictates the tone of my conversations with myself.
Summary
Just like I didn’t need a lot of skateboard equipment to make me a good skateboarder, I don’t have to read hundreds of books and attend weekend courses if I want to improve my life.
The focus of all personal development is to start developing the habit of making it very PRACTICAL:
— Start a good evening and morning routine, so you have the energy to do the work.
— Get rid of clutter to free up mental and physical space so you can digest new inputs.
— Confront one demon at the time–no more
— Start small — but start today!
— Focus on the reason why you want something.
— Design your life around values and passion — not work or money
I don’t make any money writing, but still, I wake up at 5 am every morning to write because empowering others is one of the most exciting things I know.
I hope I have, if not empowered you, at least got you thinking.
If you find this helpful, please share it with the world.
Thank you for taking the time to read this to the end.
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Previously Published on medium
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