
Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…Including you
— Anne Lamott
Wise words to live by.
But it’s so much easier said than done. One thing is for sure, if you can master the art of accepting that you’re only able to do what you can actually do, you’ll be on the road to lessened anxiety and more happiness.
There are some common reasons we use to convince ourselves that the only way we can be successful in our pursuits and finally relax is to work without boundaries until things are done.
None of them are good.
…
I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear
― Steve Maraboli
Technology was supposed to make things easier and more efficient. But in fact, it’s done the opposite. It has made us more anxious than ever.
We’re tethered to everything and connected to every possible occurrence that is happening instantly.
With each buzz, ding, or banner notification, we’re pulled right out of our precious moment, and into someone else’s.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
…
Here’s how to avoid being a victim of time anxiety, stop rushing around, and take control of your life again.
Ditch the need to please others
That little voice in the back of your head that leads you to “what will they think”, is a driver for many overworked souls.
You do have to do your job and complete your tasks, but the way you tackle them has to work for you, and can’t be at the expense of your sanity.
Others may ask things of you, but they don’t get to determine the how and how fast. (Unless there’s a deadline of course, but that’s different).
Things take as long as they take, and while it’s important to be efficient, and even push yourself sometimes, don’t let anyone elses’ expectation of the timeline determine how you go about completing your tasks.
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner
— Lao Tzu
Always do your best
This sounds juvenile but it’s really quite profound. It’s important as you take a stand on taking back your time and reducing external pressures that you can honestly say that you gave the day everything you have.
Some days are more productive than others, but it feels good to know with certainty that you gave it your very best. Once you believe that it will make it even easier to relax when you decide that the day is done.
Set appropriate boundaries
There are very few jobs or roles in life where you have to be “on” pretty much 24/7. But even doctors, emergency workers, law enforcement, and parents should have planned time off.
For those people and everyone else, boundaries are critical to reducing anxiety and having a balanced life.
Planning time in your day ahead of time where you will take care of your personal needs is key.
Don’t leave gaps in your calendar for work to seep into it, but rather create those small blocks of time that you reserve for yourself and guard them with your life.
Define your purpose in different ways
Completing your work at break-neck speed isn’t the only way you should measure your success. You get to define your purpose in a variety of ways.
You can value being a productive team player in your job, but that’s not your life…it’s just what you do for a living.
When you’re able to discover purpose in the other areas of your life it will keep you from viewing your completed to-do list as the primary way to feel validated.
Say “No” more often
Because we know there are only so many hours in a day and that you do need balance, saying “no” more often will keep those sacred, non-working times locked in.
If you’re someone that doesn’t like to disappoint others, get over it. Once you give your answer and offer another option that works for you, it’ll be fine.
It also reminds others that the answer isn’t always going to be “yes”, even though it may have always been up to this point.
Maintaining balance isn’t about staying perfectly still; it’s about recognizing when you’re getting out of balance, and righting yourself. Constantly.
Fear of failure
Fear of failure is a driver for many people. This may lead you to feel a lot of pressure to push yourself to your breaking point.
That’s not a good reason. It’s really not.
It’s best to work on why you have such a prevalent fear in the first place.
Not sure if that’s the reason you’re burning the candle at both ends? Here are some common signs that you might fear failing.
- You are concerned that failing at one thing may impact your ability to succeed at future things
Failing in the past has made you question your abilities - You are fearful others might lose faith in you
- You often feel headaches, restless, and anxious when you have a task to complete
- You may procrastinate because you’re unsure if you will be able to get things done
- You imagine that others will begin to doubt you
Being afraid of failure is one of the most common fears in society, so there’s no shame if you have it.
But if it’s one of the reasons you’re killing yourself to get things done, do some work to identify where it comes from and take some self-care actions to get it under control.
However, here are a few ways to reduce the fear of failing:
- Analyze all possible outcomes — Reduce the fear by considering all of the potential outcomes of your decision. If you can imagine each possibility and settle with it, there’s nothing unexpected to fear.
- What’s the worst thing that could happen? — The worst-case scenario may be an actual disaster, and it may be perfectly rational to fear failure. However, there are times the worst case may not be bad. Recognize that.
- Think more positively — Positive thinking is an incredibly powerful way to build self-confidence and neutralize fear. Speaking positive words to affirm this will help.
- Have a backup plan — If you’re afraid of failing at something, having a “Plan B” in place can help you ease your mind about moving forward-just in case.
…
Time is a precious commodity. Arguably the most precious. So squandering it away and trying to be an overachieving superhero won’t make you happier.
It will only cause you to resent who or what pushed you to live on that hamster wheel.
Do What You Can, With What You Have, Where You Are — Teddy Roosevelt
This is a perfect way to summarize. This quote doesn’t release you from responsibility or give you a reason to quit.
Nor does it say you should overwork yourself to get things done.
It’s not a race. As long as you know you did your very best, you should feel at peace.
Just do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
![]() |
—
Photo credit: Hernan Sanchez on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
