Are We There Yet?! [Video from Beleaf in Fatherhood]

By Beleaf in Fatherhood

Transcript provided by YouTube.

“Damn it.”
“[Laughter]”
“Oh my gosh.”
“[Music]”
“Welcome, welcome, welcome back Disco Heart.”
“In a hit like that.”
“I’m so tired.”
“He took me a hell of a slobber on my face.”
“Alright guys, it’s currently 5 a.m. We are heading on our family trip, a road trip up north. You said you wanted to leave early.”
“[Music]”
“Then why are you still in your bed? I heard the timer go off two times. We were still in your bed, laying there and snoring. I was tired, man.”
“That was literally having a good sleep and feels like Brian.”
“I felt someone looking at me through the crack of my door at 4 a.m. and I had to tell him off and tell them to get away from me.”
“I’ll be late.”
“Almost four. What do you mean late? So far, we’re not late.”
“We didn’t say bye to Lily. I forgot to leave a mailbox key.”
“I don’t have my keys.”
“Do you have my keys?”
“I feel like I’m doing a really good job of taking a chill pill. I wanted to be driving away from our house at 5 a.m. It is now 8:48.”
“We’re gonna get there, regardless. We’re gonna get there. If it’s before dark, like I’d like to, or after dark, we’re still going.”
“He got himself a Five Hour Energy drink, but he didn’t give me anything, mom. He didn’t ask me if I wanted coffee or anything. He just got himself something.”
“Oh, he can hear me. I didn’t see you walking in.”
“What do you want?”
“Is that hand, yeah?”
“Do you want something? Go get it. I might need alcohol to get through this.”
“I didn’t even look at myself in the mirror, man. Would you like something? I don’t want anything out of there. I just wanted to be thought of. But if you want to stop at Black Rock Coffee, that’s where.”
“I’m not finna do that.”
“Do you want us to go around in the loop for a preference? The reason why I stopped here is because we had to stop for gas.”
“They’ve got you black uh, and five-hour energy, babe. You know I wouldn’t have just made a stop to get that.”
“What’s your strive?”
“If I really wanted to, I would have been.”
“Big matter right now. I wanted to. You would want it for me.”
“Yeah, I want it.”
“See ya.”
“You know what I’m trying to say? I’m in the whip. The whole family’s in the car. This is something we just contracted, okay? This is a toy car in the background. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, all I’m trying to get you to understand is that we were only in the car for 20 minutes. We were only driving for 20 minutes, and then after all that time, guess who got to go to the bathroom? Anaya.”
“[Music]”
“Very upset.”
“How long have we been on the road?”
“Not even 30 minutes.”
“I’m very upset.”
“Oh, it’s gonna be a long ride. That’s why an RV is like. I’m trying to tell you, man. We gotta get an RV, man.”
“This is the way to the potty, because somebody has a very small bladder.”
“I was about to drive around. Everybody should go. Your belly is hurting, right? You might as well sit on the toilet, right?”
“No, no, no, no. You’re going to sit on the toilet because you’re sitting up here telling me it doesn’t hurt. Now you’re going fishing on the toilet.”
“Oh my God. It’s going to be okay.”
“Just because I gotta go potty doesn’t mean everybody’s house stuff.”
“I’m gonna bear my diaper.”
“There’s Starbucks. Hallelujah.”
“Should I walk over to Trader Joe’s while you take them to the park?”
“You’re not. I’m not taking all these people to the potty by myself. Are you crazy?”
“[Music]”
“You don’t. Yeah.”
“All these people going to the potty. We just recently had an experience. Oh, Brie was with me.”
“Yeah, yeah. It doesn’t just be you out here.”
“Wait, wait. Okay, this is stop number one, and we foreign.”
“We might be. We might have to sleep at a hotel and be there early in the morning.”
“[Music]”
“[Laughs]”
“[Music]”
“All right, so we just got back in the car, and things are moving smooth. We’re just cruising. It’s dope, right? I’m trying to keep a positive attitude, but just like clockwork, it happens again. Anaya’s gotta go potty. She’s gonna party so many times. Oh my goodness, this girl’s bladder is so weak.”
“[Music]”
“Foreign.”
“[Music]”
“You know what I’m saying? Because everybody gets to eat, but as normal, we all got to stop and go potty. We all projected different times that we would end up there. You know, some people said before sunset, some people said after sunset. I said right at bedtime. We’re gonna get there when the kids are at their maximum supposed to be ready to go to sleep. But they’re gonna be so excited to get to the spot that they’re not gonna be ready for that, you know what I’m saying? They’re gonna be so excited to get there and see everything anyway.”
“Eventually, we made it.”
“[Music]”
“I told y’all.”
“[Music]”
“Tomorrow, you guys get to see it. Oh, it’s supposed to be nighttime. Can you make it nighttime, Jet? Make it night. Thank you. Tomorrow, we’ll give you a tour of the Airbnb. It’s pretty nice.”
“[Music]”
“It doesn’t. We don’t have to leave right, yeah?”
“I’ll follow you guys.”

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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Photo credit: iStock