Ever look at the world and wonder where the real image sits? As we look at our lives through a globe, we see the images clearer. The ideas of others become clear when we ask questions, and we find information locked away until we become curious.
Consider the transparent business meeting:
The moment you enter a room of people who are thrilled to support an idea and you have no idea what they are discussing, you can fake it and blend in or you can stand out and bring your authentic self to the attention. By saying, “I see you are all excited about something, but I don’t know what the hell that is” is showing up authentic.
Consider the overly criticized child:
“Mom and dad must hate me. I am sent to my room when I make a mistake. They get angry and yell, so I must be a really bad kid. They might be better off if I was dead. Maybe they act like this because I am a girl (or boy).”
What are we demonstrating in our business life and in the lives of our families? The stories they hear inside of their heads may become the story they take to the boss, or for our children, the story they teach their children in the future.
. . .
We have to choose authenticity every day. Multiple times of day provide experiences to allow us to open to realness. To open up vulnerably and reveal we do or do not know something, is to grant access to someone else seeing the striped away shield of control.
Note: At times, you must be mindful of the company you keep. There are unsafe people in the world. Opening up to them may pose a problem or cause harm. Prior to opening up make sure you know and have built some trust with people.
Confabulation is a lie, told honestly. Powerful right? We conspire with our minds when the fight or flight mode shows up. We have two facts we know and the brain throws this whole new story line out there and we hook line and sinker before we have checked the facts. Our brains confabulate the great concepts of a lie and present the idea to us so honestly we believe it. What a mess!
How much do we need to get curious as soon as an emotional response shows up? Very much so. When we rise up to the equation and question, we can step back and change the way the story ends rather than write it without awareness.
The hard moments of recognition of where our emotions take us help us to stop and reckon with the thoughts that spur the feelings to the surface.
We have to be willing to dig deeper and feel the feels or we end up like a brass wall. The ability to get curious about whatever emotions have taken hold is the first step in remaining authentic.
You have to face the inner person. Seeking to numb oneself out is only going to prolong the time it takes to free yourself. By setting aside the acts of numbing we embrace the genuine emotions and curiously face them with an open-minded exploration.
We ask the hard questions: where is this coming from? What proceeded to show up here? Why is this feeling imposing itself in the moment?
Our children’s future
The authentic person refuses to shy away from the uncomfortable questions. They want to know what story they are making up, what part of the story is true, and how they can rewrite the first draft so the second draft closely resembles the genuine story line.
The person who recently begun the journey to authenticity, may feel intimidated and confused by the questions. One day, the opportunity will present itself to validate the struggle and open the doors to understanding. While life is full of the questions and wonders of the curious mind, those who embrace an authentic life become stronger, one question they answer in curiosity at a time.
The awesomeness of the topic here is when we embrace a new life, a new way to see our story lines, the made up fiction in our heads, we become transparent, without blame, and then begin to teach our children. They do not have to grow up stuck in their made up stories or with unanswered questions.
Children begin at a young age creating a false story. They learn from their family with all of the unspoken stories and never-answered questions lingering in the background. If they live with doubt and feel like no one cares their stories reflect how all interactions turn out throughout their lifetime. We have the opportunity to help both children, in our lives and around us learn to become honest and transparent.
Be the change. Start with your stories. Check them out and decide if you don’t invent false stories every single day, multiple times a day. Change the story line, check the facts, and keep emotion at bay.
You might not see the efforts make a difference right away, but maybe, you’ll find a shift. If all else fails outside of you, believe the inside has changed.
This post was previously published on ILLUMINATION and is republished here with permission from the author.
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