City that I used to know

…

tonight I hold my champagne steady

in a sea of suits –

of the consulting kind –

their hubris heaving

heavy

as a politician speaks his mind

then laughs at his own jokes

about corporate corruption

…

we’re close to god here

45 levels high above the sea

a three hundred and sixty degree

panorama of branded buildings

bathed in all the light

we are allowed to see

our creativity has a curfew

…

I used to understand this

…

I excuse myself to nobody

and leave the party early

wander, nostalgic, past an office where

I grew to be an entrepreneur

three levels of potential

lived in there

and someone died

…

I used to want this

…

I roam half empty streets

and nod at bums who make themselves

comfy in amongst the cracks

within these crooked sidewalks

we’d feed them soup

and pat each other’s backs

…

I used to accept this

…

I pass the building where a city mayor

once stole and hid his own bust

to claim attention after losing office

now he’s dust to dust

…

on, past the public statues

there are no female founding fathers

but Cathedral bells still ring out for Mary

patron saint of all the weary

no one keeps their status in this City

…

I used to fight this

…

water, water everywhere

the city seagulls bathe themselves

in shallow concrete ponds

I move in to take a photo

but they step back, uneasy

identity is complicated

here

…

that used to free me

…

I remember a time

when I stayed more than one week

in New York

and spent my second week

searching for a tree —

any tree — not in captivity

inside the one Park

…

back home at my bnb

deep in backstreets of urbanity

I stand outside and watch the single people pass

imagining all the sacrifices they’ve made to last

more than just a day

within this city

…

I stub out a wistful cigarette

after three puffs — four –

ashing into a hardy city shrub

making sure

the embers die

finally understanding why

I don’t need a sanity cigarette here

any more

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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