After I made Shodan, 1st-degree black belt in Aikido, I participated in the grading of promotional tests with Sensei Dan and Sensei Bobby. I still took promotional tests until Sandan, 3rd-degree black belt. So, I was excluded from discussions of my own promotion. Kind of the ‘no brainer’. Fortunately, I passed all my black belt tests. Also, fortunately, Yondan, 4th-degree black belt, was by Sensei Dan’s recommendation, only.
Although in concept, we graded students as a committee, both Bobby and I got that promotions, especially for black belt ranks, were entirely Sensei’s call. As it should be. Made sense. As Dojo Chief Instructor, Sensei determined what goes down. Yet, Sensei openly listened to our opinions. Yeah, he was Old School. Still, Sensei was fair.
For over 25 years and more, I watched perhaps a couple of hundred Aikido tests. Some were very good, others were not so good. Sensei reminded us, “If a student does badly on the test, that’s my fault.” Sensei took responsibility for the student’s failures. Rather explicitly, if a student didn’t get the Aikido techniques on the test, it reflected that we, as Instructors, didn’t do our jobs. We failed in our responsibility to foster the student to create his or her greater-than version. Consequently, we had to ‘go back to school’. We had to correct our failings.
Over those years, I’d watch Sensei administer Aikido tests for students for different black belt ranks. Sometimes, I would think: WTF? “That was way easier than what I had to do!” I recalled the 5 black belts chasing me around the mat for 2 or 3 minutes for my Nidan, 2nd-degree black belt, test when I was dead tired. I spent almost 2 hours on the mat throwing bigger stronger dudes for my Sandan test. I was righteous. Yes, I was arrogant.
When I finally got over myself, I got what Sensei was really doing. Sensei tested according to the student: Where he or she started from, what their ‘zeroes’ were. Sensei acknowledged and promoted students for becoming their greater-than version of themselves. He wanted to see how much greater they were than their original ‘zeroes’.
Sure, promotions were about knowing and executing the technique. Yet, Sensei wasn’t concerned about perfect technique or perfection. No. He wanted to see that his students threw with feeling, with ki. He wanted to see them endure just further beyond what they thought they could. That’s what Sensei was about.
All tests and promotions were different because each student’s zero—their starting point—was different. Promotional testing was about individual growth and evolution, not so much about meeting some rigidly defined standards. That resonated with me. Sensei landed with me.
I got from Sensei that one of the most important things we can do on Planet Earth is to be of service to others. Profound service is not giving others what they necessarily want. Profound service is giving others what they need to invent their greater-than version. That was being Sensei, whether it was Aikido or just in life. That’s what Sensei had done for me over the years. I took that on as part of Sensei’s enduring legacy.
A couple of years ago, I began working with Lieutenant Jon on his first assignment in the Air Force. We worked together on the complex Government Communications Satellite System. Jon was straight out of college with a bachelor’s degree in Mechanical Engineering. At 22 years-old Jon was old enough to be my son. He was smart, athletic, good-looking and full of passion.
In our initial conversations, I got that Jon wanted to become an Emergency Room Doctor. He took courses to fulfill some curriculum requirements. He was preparing for his MCATs. I told Jon upfront that I’d do my best to help him get into Medical School.
So, I wasn’t going to relay my 30 years of Satellite Systems Engineering experience upon him. I’d pick and choose. Instead, I hoped to guide Jon in looking at the bigger picture of complex problems, not getting overwhelmed by the details. It’s not necessary to know all the answers. Instead, ask the smart questions. That’s what I got from my Master’s Thesis Advisor Dr. Tom. That would service Jon in his pursuit of getting into Medical School.
In the beginning, I’d sit with Jon when we had Customer teleconferences. I got him to listen first, instead of just speaking. I’d coach him on some of the more technical issues. And that occurred less and less as time went on.
In one of our conference calls near the end of our tenure together, I listened to Jon run the meeting. I thought, “Damn, he’s really good. He’s come a long way.”
When Jon left for Medical School, I hugged him, “You make me proud.” He said, “You kept me on the right path.” I had tears in my eyes. I had done some of what Sensei had done for me.
I had since exchanged emails with Jon at Medical School. He told me that his anatomy class was killer. And that he loved what he was doing. That made me happy. I’m as proud of Jon, as if he were my Son.
Greater-than is not about greater than others. Greater-than is about you becoming greater than yourself, greater than your ‘zero’. If you’re lucky as I have been, you get to contribute to that kind of evolution in others. I believe there are few greater gifts on Planet Earth. Just saying.
—
Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
◊♦◊
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock