Crisis and grief are universal. It doesn’t matter how much money you have. It doesn’t matter where you live. At some point, everyone loses a person they love. Everyone gets sick. Everyone is forced to deal with something that they don’t think they can handle. And then, they are left with the grief that follows.
Grief can also happen on a large scale. The pandemic was a serious source of grief for many people. The same holds true for natural disasters or wars.
Universal or not crisis and grief management are painful and difficult. In this article, we take a look at how to cope with a crisis and what to do with the grief that comes from it. Read on to learn more.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Depending on the nature of your situation, it may be difficult to even understand what you are feeling. Many crisis situations are so overwhelming that they leave their victims feeling numb.
During the heat of a difficult time, it’s important to center yourself and take inventory. You can’t cope with something you don’t understand, the same way you won’t get very far walking into a doctor’s office with no idea if it’s your arm or leg that is bothering you.
Unfortunately, the art of acknowledging your feelings is imprecise and some people have a very difficult time with it. As you work to inventory your emotions, try to find a quiet, calm space where you can sit for as long as it takes to reflect.
During this time, you may consider using mindfulness techniques to inventory how your body feels, or what words you would use to describe the thoughts going through your head. You might also consider free-writing.
Sometimes simply naming a feeling is enough to make it feel manageable.
Take Care of Your Health
Crises have a very nefarious way of taking over every other aspect of your life. In the heat of the moment, it can very difficult to see the importance of prioritizing sleep or healthy eating. And yet these are the habits that will give you the strength you need to handle the situation effectively.
Remember: your mind is just another part of your body, equally as dependent on healthy lifestyle choices as your muscles and waistline. Without proper nutrition and sleep, you’re giving yourself a severe handicap for handling whatever situation you are in.
Avoid Harmful Behaviors
It’s easy to want to reach for alcohol, or whatever other recreational substance you use to relax. While there is a potential cathartic value to having a drink or two during a difficult time—especially when it is coupled with a social experience—it’s better for the most part to avoid it.
Alcohol is a depressant. Though it may provide momentary relief from your problems, the long-term effects usually won’t favor you.
Talk About It
Communication will be an important part of handling a crisis and the grief that eventually follows. If you have people who are in the same situation as you (i.e siblings who are also dealing with the ailing health of a relative) it can be very therapeutic to communicate regularly about thoughts and feelings.
Short of this option, friends or even a therapist can all be invaluable assets that will help you through the crisis and grief process.
Communicating regularly about your feelings helps you keep track of how you are doing. It also has the benefit of making you feel less alone. Tell a friend you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, and you are sure to learn that they’ve been in the same position and come out the other side.
Give Yourself Permission to Grief
As the wise Fred Rogers once said “It’s ok to feel sad.” And it is. Grief is a natural part of life and there is no timeline for how long you should feel sad after something bad happens. Depending on the loss, you may find that you never completely move on emotionally.
That’s ok.
The experience of grief is quite a lot like swimming in the ocean. At certain stages, especially in the beginning, the waves are violent and wild, and it can feel like you won’t be able to navigate them. Over time, the sea calms. Waves still come but they are manageable.
Every once and a while, however, more storms will come. One day, a year removed from your crisis, you may find that the loss feels as fresh as it did the day it happened. That’s ok too. Acknowledge your feelings, try to understand why they are happening, and most of all, live your life. Things will get better.
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