When we came into existence, we all subconsciously were fed that life would entail an eventual happy ever after.
If you are reading this, it means you are still alive! It also means that you have come to realize that life is a journey. One filled with bumps, hurdles, and happy moments.
It is easy to enjoy and wish to prolong the happy times, yet as soon as you get settled in this, there comes at times, the bumps, the hurdles and the detours.
As a client posed the question of how to cope in the “‘detours” as I often call it. I realized that maybe the detours are all truly part of living. We view it as detours because we didn’t expect certain obstacles or directions and so when we face it, we are stumped and not sure how to proceed.
It is really our expectations that make the detours difficult to cope with.
Though no amount of expectation can prepare you for a sudden illness, or death of a loved one, yet somewhere we all hope and wish secretly for the most part that life will go as happy as we wish all the time!
An elderly mentor of mine, made the statement a few years ago “be happy where you are”.
I didn’t understand it.
Here I was with my world turned upside down and the only response was to suggest being happy where I was.
It didn’t make sense and frankly with my broken heart at that point, I didn’t care to hear the rational for the statement.
I contacted her recently after the client in counselling posed the question. I was ready to hear the rational for that suggestion….finally.
. . .
It was simply this she explained, we would never feel happy with pain, with loss, and with whatever hurdles that life throws at times at us, yet waiting for an ideal time to be happy would lead to us never being happy!!
So cry, laugh, sing, share, vent…but get to a place where you don’t wait for life to be perfect and then be happy.
I asked how to find such happiness and she noted that even in the midst of loss, there are little blessings that comes our way, if we are attentive.
It may not lessen traumatic pain, but it removes the sole focus from the pain and loss to what we have.
It is simple, but not that easy to do.
I recognized the power of what was being suggested.
I realized I have been guilty at times of focusing on all that is wrong, which magnifies it and not focus on even the simple things that goes right.
Now in no way am I minimizing the extreme and traumatic pain some of us may be currently enduring, but even in the midst of it, if we look carefully there are little rays of hope for the future of life.
It may be as simple as someone offering you a meal, calling to say hello or even offering to drive you to that doctor appointment, you are anticipating with dread.
. . .
Life if not going great now, will soon have a point at which the sun shines again and you can throw back your head and give a laugh that resounds and vibrates for all around to hear.
It wouldn’t always be difficult or have hurdles, but finding a way through the hurdle with gratitude and focus on the positives is what will make life not just bearable but enjoyable.
We will all have moments of joy interspersed with difficulties.
The choice is ultimately ours how we respond in the difficult moments.
Will you choose to see the rays of hope even admist the hurdles?
It’s all up to you….but your choice will determine the quality of life you will enjoy as you continue the journey of life…so choose wisely.
. . .
“Life is not perfect, but how we maneuver the life between the good and the bad, makes it perfect” — Unknown.
This post was previously published on Change Becomes You.
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