I might just have the best custom-made wedding dresses in the world. Yes, it wasn’t a typo; I had two wedding dresses. One was a Chinese Qibao/Cheongsam that I wore for the tea ceremony and the Chinese banquet, the other was a white wedding gown for the church ceremony. My dad designed them for me.
Dad was no Stella McCartney or Vera Wang, but he was an apprentice of a rather well-known tailor in the 20s in Shanghai. His master was his dad, my grandfather. My dad had the home field advantage, growing up in grandpa’s household. He learned the art of tailoring early on but concentrated on the sales side of things. He had an eye for great design and could often customize it according to his client’s figure and preference. His advice was often well-received. Eventually, he got to work in his brother-in-law’s famous tailor shop and was soon serving clients in high society. He once mentioned that he had a client with near celebrity status, who opted to have a Western style wedding and needed a custom-made wedding gown. Dad helped design the gown and as a wedding gift to the couple, he stayed up all night and made a miniature gown for the couple’s wedding doll, which would serve as a decoration for their wedding.
That story really impressed me. I have knitted miniature mittens for my dolls before and learned how much more work any ‘miniature’ takes. When it was time to plan for my wedding, I went to dad and asked if he could design my wedding dress.
“Are you sure?” He was pleasantly surprised. “There are a lot of gorgeous ready-made gowns these days.” He was right. There were many bridal design houses in Hong Kong at the time, for every type of budget. There were even bridal gown rentals available.
“I am very sure, dad. I want your design and nothing else.” I replied firmly. He was delighted. He then asked me to wait and went into his bedroom. He came out with a beautiful piece of silk chiffon, with delicate patterns of red and pink strokes on a white background.
“I saw this years ago, when we ordered materials for clients. I thought this would make a perfect wedding qibao, so I saved it for you.”
I teared up. He’s been waiting all these years, since I married late. What kind of dad would save up material for his baby girl’s future wedding?
Dad wasted no time. He immediately took out a paper pad and started drawing. I could see the excitement in his eyes. “As for your wedding gown, the top is going to be white lace. Cap sleeves for a September wedding.” He continued drawing: “The bottom is organza, ball-gown style, adorned with small roses made in rolled up organza in white.” I looked at the draft and was in awe. What a beautiful drawing!
Our next task was to find a tailor because all the tailors dad knew had retired or passed away. ( I did say I married late.) Thanks to a friend’s recommendation, we found one who specializes in wedding dresses. Dad went with me to speak with the tailor about his design. They decided on a couple of details, and I realized this was how dad worked in his younger days. By the time I was born, he was more of a behind-the-scene owner who didn’t interact with his customer anymore so I never saw this side of him. He was both enthusiastic and professional. I had never been more proud of him.
At the dress fitting, I saw three or four other brides with their moms or aunts or girlfriends. My dad was the only guy there and people were throwing him strange looks. He appeared to be oblivious to it. I first changed into the traditional white wedding dress. I stood in front of the mirror and was stunned by how beautiful his design turned out. Dad wasn’t satisfied though. He tucked the material at the sleeve, and asked for some pins and added one around the shoulder. He showed the tailor how that made the dress fit better. The tailor was as impressed as I was. I then changed into the qibao and dad did the same thing. The tailor listened carefully to a few more alterations that dad suggested. By now, I noticed the other brides were looking at me with envy. I shamelessly basked in the glory of my dad’s expertise.
A few months after the wedding, I was showing a friend some pictures from that day, and she said: “You know, the wedding gown isn’t really your style. I’m surprised you didn’t go with a different design.”
I pondered. “You know, I didn’t really think of that.” She’s right. I am more of a sleeveless, A-line dress kind of girl. “I just wanted dad to design my gown.”
She nodded:” I see.” She thought for a moment. “And that’s how you are in his eyes. You’re his princess.” I always knew that, but I didn’t realize he expressed it in his art too. I teared up again.
Dad passed away after my daughter was born, he was hanging on until he could meet his grandchild. And today, on Father’s Day, this princess is really missing you. I still have the dress with me. Now and then, I would take it out, admire it and think about you, and I would feel like a princess again
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Jeremy Wong Weddings on Unsplash