When I like a girl, I analyze her behaviors like an NBA coach breaking down a film. Rewind, stop, play, slow motion, I try to squeeze as much as I can out of every little detail. That’s all you can do aside from bluntly asking, “what do you mean by this?”
I’ve always been an extremely sensitive and insightful person, which has been both a gift and a curse. Everyone tells me I’m overthinking. But you know what? I can’t help it. It’s hard to sleep or do much of anything else when I receive a confusing text that stirs up contradicting emotions. Here’s what I mean.
Her: “I’m busy these few days.”
A normal person would take it at face value. For me, though, I’ll mark notes all over it the same way we did in English class from high school when the teacher asked us to break down lines in an excerpt from The Scarlet Letter — and it’s just as complicated as the book. The only difference here is that the notes are mental.
“Busy” could be good or bad, depending on who, what, when, where. In this case, I know she’s got a lot of time on her hands, “busy” could simply mean not interested. But “few days” could mean come back when I’m free again. She might be opening a bit of a window, but then again, maybe not. Most women reject men indirectly. Still, she could have told me she’s busy for the next few weeks. At the same time, too busy to even talk? C’mon now. Then the lover boy side of me is also saying: she’s just playing hard to get.
This is a small glimpse into my head within a potential relationship. I manufacture hope out of nothing. Other times, I’ll make things a bigger deal than it really is.
Her: “I think you should bring a male friend so if my friend and I aren’t strong enough to steer the Jet Ski, we’ll just rent 2 instead of 4 Jet Skis and we’ll just ride along with you guys.
You see what I see right? She’s hinting to sit behind me physically. Isn’t that a clear sign of wanting more intimacy? She’d rather spend time and money not to ride? Jet Ski rentals aren’t cheap. Obviously, she could literally be concerned about not being able to operate the damn Sea-Doo. Also, by renting 2 instead of 4 Jet Skis, we save money.
I compulsively attack every word from all angles. Many times, adding meanings to a conversation that the person who said it themselves didn’t even intend. Call me crazy. But I enjoy reading between the lines. When the other person is ambiguous or giving mixed messages, I’m in no position to ask them exactly what they mean. Even if they told me, I would be skeptical. However, subconscious behaviors don’t lie, and that’s what I’m trying to decipher.
Now I know. Sometimes, they simply didn’t give their words much thought. Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t dissect in depth what they truly think about you. For instance, someone who genuinely likes you will be curious about your life. They might not even know it themselves, but when they start asking you personal questions such as your financial situation and your past, it’s a positive sign that you would have overlooked had you not gone back and reflect on it.
My theory is this. If you really like someone. It’s okay to attach a meaning to their every word, every move. If you just pay close attention, you’ll realize how much detail these little gestures reveal about their opinion towards you. Rather be crazy, obsessively, or whatever they say you are than to miss out on potential opportunities. And the more you do this, the better you become at it.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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