Sometimes I ponder if it’s even a woman. Maybe I set an extremely high standard that I misjudge every person I meet and they don’t live up to what I set.
Today, I will be casual. I will open my doors to anyone that thinks of me as interesting or that I find interesting. Then, it starts from there. Who knows? There may already be someone by the door who have been waiting for years, but I just did not have the time to welcome them in my life because of my impossible standards. I have to change because I am not getting any younger.
I need to feel what real love is. I fear that I am missing out the best in this short life. I think that only when you don’t expect too much will God give you what you truly desire. But knowing this, it may seem that my intention isn’t pure because I expect that your false humility will reward me with what I think I’ll get. No. It shouldn’t be like that.
I have to find someone that complements me, and I to them. I have thought too highly of myself that anyone that I think was not as smart as me is already dumb. That’s egoistic. If in any case that I find someone who doesn’t equal me, why would I resist? It is not the only determiner in saying someone is already whole. Love should fill that gap and make both of us meet halfway because I am not the only one who think about things like that. I know I’m just talking to myself.
I believe what they say is right: “You’ll never know unless you try.”
I have been writing for half of my life. It has been one of my passions that I am holding on to. Unfortunately, I cannot join the Medium Partner Program because I am from the Philippines.
I put up a tip page for my followers and readers to chip-in and support this small passion of mine. I hope you get a chance to be part of my journey here: https://ko-fi.com/straussspeaks
I will write better. Thank you for your engagements and support!
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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