It was some time ago that twice my son called the police on my wife and me. He immediately regretted what he had done, at least after the second time, but actions have their consequences. And their lessons.
When a squad car pulled up, my son panicked and told my wife what he had done. She quickly told me. Then we panicked. So many thoughts raced through my head: How do I de-escalate this? What could happen to my son? How about us? What will the neighbors think?
From pulled back blinds, I spied the officer getting out of the police car, surveying the house, and walking up the drive. I opened the front door and came out, walking toward him. With arms gesturing, I attempted to wave him off, trying to say it was all a mistake. The officer—very rudely, or so I thought at the time—literally just ignored me; he stepped around me and continued up the steps toward my wife, who was now out on the front porch. Though I could not see it, she was waving him forward.
My initial response was anger. I was really bothered. I’m a taxpayer, I thought. The officer needs to listen to my side of what has happened. I swallowed hard and checked my creeping indignation; after all, he had a very valid reason for being there and he was just doing his job. And as I conceded to myself later, doing it well.
As I turned around to join the explanation from my wife, it occurred to me immediately that the officer was correctly considering if this was a case of a domestic disturbance, with me attempting to dismiss it, and my wife, really in need of assistance. That probably happens often.
My wife had my son next to him. He was visibly shaken. He knew he’d have some explaining to do and he had never had any interaction with the police before. He was only four years old.
Upset with us for telling him that he had to get ready for bed, he had gone into the study and of course without us knowing, and remembering the number from a preschool lesson, he had called 911. When the dispatcher answered the call, instead of ranting against overbearing parents, he had hung up. A few minutes later, apparently, he had reconsidered with some disappointment his first aborted attempt and tried it again, and then again, he hung up. Wisely based on protocol, in such instances, 911 operators are forced to dispatch a car.
My wife started to explain to the policeman what had transpired, and my son was by now hysterically crying, realizing the trouble he had caused. Yet still, the officer was asking clarifying questions of my wife. I surmised that oftentimes in domestic violence cases, the police are summoned, there’s a realization of legal and economic consequences to a complainant, a self-coerced change of heart results, and an attempt is made to conceal real or threatened violence against a family member, usually a woman.
The officer asked a number of questions first just to my wife, then to both of us; and I could see that he was slowly becoming satisfied that this was, as reported, a mistake, a really early youthful indiscretion. But he wasn’t just ready to depart yet.
“How about we sit down, and I explain to your son about what the police do and how they are here to help folks but that we must only call them in a real emergency.” It wasn’t so much a question as a command.
My son, still really scared, but shielded in my wife’s arms, tried to hide his face. My wife sat down on the porch bench, my son still in her arms, whimpering. The officer, dropping to one knee, and now level to my son, began a little speech. My wife turned my son’s head to pay attention. Still imposing in his blue uniform, the officer took his time and explained with a seriousness appropriate to a four-year-old what he needed to. There was the slightest hint of admonition in the message.
The first use of a national emergency response system dates back to 1937 in England. In the United States, in 1967, a Presidential Commission recommended use of a single number nation-wide to report emergencies. Today, just about 99% of the population in the country have access to 911 use. Enhanced 911, where the operator is provided the address from where the incoming call was made, is available for 96% of all phone numbers issued. The system has saved countless lives. And yes, there have been a few false alarms, too.
My son, now at 25, is still embarrassed by the event and the retelling of the story. He doesn’t think it cute and he’s too young for nostalgia. Since that day two decades ago, he’s never had the occasion to dial 911 again.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
