Knowing When to End
Do Not Procrastinate
Gather Your Courage
Do ‘It’ in Person
Be Ready to Face the Storm
Ending a long term relationship is a very difficult thing to do. The process of breaking up can be a very distressing issue. Then you have to think about all the messy emotions that often comes along with it. Most of the time you feel like you might never recover from it.
This can be a very difficult time for anyone who has been involved in a long term relationship. Breaking up with someone you have loved and cared about over a period of time is not easy. However, often times you might discover that you are better off without that person in your life.
It is important to know whether to give a struggling relationship some time to heal itself. The you have to consider how much time you should give to it and when exactly to call it quit.
With that said, we should realize that most relationships are often in a state of lull. It might just need more attention to get it back on track and not necessarily calling it quit. However, a lot people remain in unpleasant relationships. For most of such people, breaking up is too difficult an issue to bring up and tackle.
However, at some point, we often have no other options. It is best for both parties to go their separate ways due to irreconcilable differences. How to handle ending such a long term relationship is the focus of this piece.
Firstly, it is very important that we put ourselves in the shoes of our partner. How would you feel about the way you intend going about the breakup process if the reverse was the scenario?
When ending any relationship, phone calls and text messages should never be used. These should only be an option where distance is a serious issue. By all means avoid the blame game and be as civil as you can be.
You should by now have come to a clear cut reason why you want the relationship to end. You should also be in a position to be able to effectively explain this to your partner. Be thorough about these reasons. In most cases, the immediate reasons you might be thinking of might be just trivial. The main reasons still lie uncovered.
In presenting your reasons you should strive to be as honest as possible with your partner. Think through what you are going to say and your possible responses.
Be very sure of the reasons why you believe the relationship is no longer working and why it cannot work. You should also be ready to face the grim reality of bringing this the notice of your partner.
You should avoid procrastinating as much as possible. The decision of breaking up the relationship will not reduce the problems. Procrastinating it will only succeed in postponing the backwash. The sooner you do it, the better for your emotional health.
Accept that your partner may express strong feelings about your decision. You therefore need to listen to them. Try to resolve not to argue in the course of the discussion.
Do not bring up old issues or create situations that are likely to put your partner on the defensive. You can eulogize the lessons you would be taking with you from the relationship. The memories you will cherish as a result of the love you have both shared so far.
The atmosphere may become very emotional. Your partner may in their response say things they do not really mean just because they feel upset. You have to be calm at this point. Remember that you are the one who initiated the breakup. You have had time to go over them before raising them during this conversation about the breakup.
You should allow your partner to air their view about your decision. If the need arises for both of you to meet again over the issue, then honor them with the privilege.
Given the often emotionally charged atmosphere, you should try to maintain your position. Avoid creating another emotional complication that you might need to be clear later.
Clear up the air once and for all. Make your points for breaking up as clear and concise as possible while being civil about it. You should avoid anything that will create any form of hope for your partner.
On a last note, after the breakup try to keep contact with your now erstwhile partner to the barest minimum. If possible, cut it off completely for the first few months after the breakup.
More importantly, it is advisable not to get into a new relationship too soon after such a breakup. You need to give yourself some time to get over all the heartbreak you might be feeling at first.
These feelings are irrespective of you being the one who started the breakup process. The hurt of the separation will definitely still linger for a while.
You might experience some sort of back-and-forth, and some unsettling emotional situations. As you gradually make peace with your loss, little by little, you will start to feel ready to move on.
With time, you’ll finally come to a point where you can start looking toward the future. It is at such a point you will know for sure that you are ready to try again. In your heart, you now fully believe that there could be someone else out there, for you!
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