Every Woman Needs a Male Relationship Role Model

Have you been trying to wrap your head around all the new rules of relationships? You may be stuck on the phrase, “if he wanted to, he would.” It’s a car headlight on a stormy winter night. The statement’s essence is true, but there are more effective ways to go about love.

What is the simplest way for women to heal, do the work, and be themselves in relationships? Have a male relationship role. It sounds super cringe. But it would work. Most men don’t have the issues women have with love.

Their strengths are your weakness. So, why not have a male relationship role model? You likely have one and don’t even know it yet!

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Men marry the one in front of them.

Books suggest you wait for three performance evaluation months (lol) to sleep with a person.

But some men hope you won’t wait. Women have so many rules about dating. And stick by them. These aren’t absolutes. A guy can know all the rules, follow them to appease you, and still cheat.

You could judge wrong if you get hung up on details like opening doors and sleeping facing the door. That’s how you stay with a cheater for two years — just because he acts right. Men aren’t looking to see if the woman he dates checks the boxes. He checks to see if the woman in front of him meets his current needs. Yes, the relationship continues. No, next.

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If he wanted to, he would.

It’s better to detach your self-worth from how a guy feels about you. If you love or like him, you make excuses for his behavior. Imagine investing six years into a relationship. Yes, it’s hard.

Guys detach. A man will mistreat a good and a “terrible” woman. His behavior depends how he feels when in a relationship. Serving yourself is easier if you untie your self-worth from outside validation.

A man will check in, plan dates, and send flowers. But he also is taking care of himself — you won’t see him slipping on his responsibilities, needs, job, or studies. Yeah, women are emotional investors. But it would help to keep directing some energy into yourself.

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I want you.

The (easiest) label a confident man earns is a narcissist. Every guy is one bold statement away from this title.

Confidence comes from clarity. Men say “incel”-like remarks because they have accepted their truth — no matter how long the phase lasts.

Women could take a page from their male relationship role models here. Before you do all the work, declare to yourself and your universe what relationship type you want. Confidence about what you want leads to feelings of enoughness. It works better than affirmations that feel weird to say aloud.

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I’d rather be his Selena than his Hailey.

Ever notice no matter how much trauma a man has been through, he’ll jump into the dating pool? He’s single. But his dating profile is active.

Keeping yourself out of the dating pool to be the one who got away is a coping mechanism. It’s hard being a bridesmaid and never a bride. But it’s not a reason to avoid trying again if it’s something you want. Let me repeat, if it’s something you want. Okay.

You can heal, be available, and it will not be a rebound situation. Stop boxing yourself in.

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I want a woman who…

It infuriates Lizzo how some things appear more acceptable when done by skimmer women. Fair. It’s her opinion. But it is a critical point. It shows how men stick to what they want.

Do men debate in their groups — about how breaking up with someone who isn’t their type makes them a “bad” person? Likely not. Don’t care who wants to be mad — if you expect a specific behavior from your partner, don’t settle. After a long pause in a relationship, you leave and continue your search.

If you see an obese woman, date a fit man, mind your business.

Then, go find your type.

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Thank you for reading this post.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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