Exceeded Expectations?

I’m writing this story before I go on my second date with non-rebound guy. Is it possible to actually like someone with only one date, two FaceTimes, and three text message conversations? Apparently.

He’s smart, funny, very very handsome, has a different way of thinking — a very non-judgmental way of thinking that I easily picked up on before we even went on our first date. This is important to me. He accepts people for who they are. Case & point? I pointed out just how petite I am, some people don’t love a petite woman (stature under 5′) and it didn’t phase him. After the first date, I took a nasty fall on my morning run and had to get stitches on my face and even though we had a second date planned — he validated me in that he doesn’t care that I have a cut on my head. It’s not about my head.

BTW, Hawaii is no longer happening & Rebound Guy is on his way out.

I talked to my mom about my reservations on dating and keeping these casual or moving into dating for a serious relationship and she gave me the best snippet of advice.

Everyone is dating someone and if they aren’t, they are probably lying — it could be casual but there is someone there that they are consistently talking to, until it’s you.

Back to Non-Rebound date.

Let’s call him Hal. (There’s a reason for this and if he reads this and is a true fan of what he says he is, he’ll get it.)

Hal and I were texting back and forth as people do these days — tbh I hate texting but it is what it is — and he asked me what I thought about him when I first saw him, this wasn’t random it was all a part of the conversation.

My first thoughts were DAMN. And then I so self-absorbedly thought, am I dressed well enough. From here, it’s hard to say where things go because in my head, people as good looking as him, tend to not have the best personalities. They’re looks people. Yes, this is a shallow thought I had and as he kept walking up I decided to let go of any expectation I had about men, him, the very little conversation we had up until the first date and learn about him. And he did not disappoint. Not even close. How did I know it went well on my end?

He listened to me.

I talked way too much about my friends and family and just how dope they are, because they are and instead of jumping to a different conversation, he was interested. He asked their names, who is who in the friend group, gave a brief opinion about women and their posse’s and then moved the conversation to a similar topic but different.

This let me know he was genuinely interested. That the people who are important to other people matter. Not everyone feels this way. It let me know that I could introduce him to my friends if it ever came up. They would adore him & his beard.

He talked about his mom

Yes, this one is a little odd, right? But not for me. I love mom’s & aside from the last mother encounter — mom’s traditionally love me. If I’m meeting a man’s mom it’s because I love him and mom’s love people who love their kids. Point blank.

He talked about his culture, his favorite foods, his brother and his childhood. All things that point me back to thinking the same thought.

Damn.

He played the Trombone

Okay, as a fellow adolescent band geek, this excited me. Studies show that kids who play an instrument in their formative years, tend to be more well-rounded adults. This is something that not everyone looks for, I don’t even look for it. But knowing the amount of discipline and structure it takes to take part in an after school activity such as band or sports really helps define who you are as a person.

He has hobbies & goals

We didn’t go into career or life goals just yet, these things take time. But every year he sets a goal for himself and completes it. This year he’s vegan (having vegan parents, this also excited me). How cool is that. He is doing things to make himself better, and not just talking about it. I’m so tired of people talking about making themselves better.

He also has a podcast and does comedy, which to me sounds terrifying (as I hide behind the keyboard) but very fun. He enjoys it. Talks about it, learns about it and dedicates time to it.

He kissed me on the cheek at the end of the night

Not going to lie here, I lingered. Hoping for a little more. but I get it. Slow and steady wins the race? Hoping there’s a racy make-out story to tell you guys later on. I’ll definitely let you know. Maybe, just maybe — I’ll make the first move.

What did they say in Hamilton?

So this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level
What the hell is the catch?
It’s the feeling of freedom, of seein’ the light
It’s Ben Franklin with a key and a kite
You see it, right?

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Previously Published on medium

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