Money issues are the second cause of divorce. Ramsey Solutions conducted a survey demonstrating the facts of a harsh reality where most couples live here in America.
Some people may argue that money can’t buy happiness, but what if it’s the only thing keeping your relationship going? Money is an important part of any relationship. It can cause a lot of problems in relationships and sometimes make them worse, but there are ways to fix these problems.
Money is one of the most common topics in relationships and for good reason. Money can be a source of conflict if it’s managed poorly or if you and your partner have different philosophies about how to spend it. In this blog post, we’ll discuss some ways money has caused problems in relationships and how to fix them!
Teamwork Is Vital
If one partner is a spender and the other is a saver, they have to find some common ground over how much they want to spend on different things. Some ways you can do this are by talking about it out loud or coming up with an amount that both of you agree on before going shopping together so neither person feels pressured.
You also need to figure out whether you both want to spend money on the same things. A saver may not enjoy going shopping with someone who loves clothes but that’s how they can compromise!
One partner can go grocery shopping while the other goes and buys some clothes from a thrift store instead of spending more on new ones. This is just one example, so be creative in your discussions about different ways you can save money together!
Once you’ve found an agreement over finances, it might help if each person has their own individual bank account for discretionary purchases as well. You’ll have a better idea of what you’re doing financially this way without keeping track of everything together all the time or constantly asking “how much do we have left?”
Let’s say you and your partner both want to work on more important things than finances. You can create a budget that includes some money for fun, too! This is especially helpful if one person in the relationship works full-time or stays home with kids while the other supports them financially. Again, talk this through together before going shopping so each of you knows what kind of spending will be allowed and where that money will come from.
Communication Is Key
If you’re having issues with your partner about money, it’s important to talk to them about how they feel and what their concerns are. This is a step in the right direction that can lead to finding ways of dealing with these problems together.
For example, let’s say one person wants to spend more than the other does or has trouble managing their spending habits because they get bored when they don’t have anything to do after work.
You could find out how much they typically spend every month by looking at bank statements or credit card bills for a few months before discussing what you want each other to give up so there isn’t such a need for compromise all of the time!
It’s also important to be kind and understanding with one another when you’re discussing these concerns. Try not to judge or make ultimatums so that both of you can come up with solutions together.
Sharing The Same Ambitions
It’s important for couples to have shared goals and values around money so that each person feels as if their needs are being met. If this isn’t happening, it might be time to talk about what you want in the future or how often one of you can take a vacation without burdening the other person with additional work-related stress.
The most common ways money causes issues in relationships include spending power inequality, resentment over financial control, and debt.
Fixing these issues might include: talk about your money values before you get married; create a budget together to make sure both partners are responsible for managing their own finances and agree on where the money will go (e.g., groceries vs travel); discuss ways of tackling any debt accumulation with help from an expert or credit counselor.
Managing Separate Accounts
Keeping separate accounts may be a good way of avoiding these issues. It’s important to discuss your goals and values before getting married, but once you’re both on the same page then it might help for each person to have their own discretionary spending account or individual bank account that they can use however they like!
A lot of couples argue over money because one partner has more earning power than another. If this is happening in your relationship, talk about what you want out of life and how often one partner will take time off while the other earns an income so there are no resentments down the line.
Organized Planning
To fix this, you need a plan together about how you will split your expenses. It’s important that people not making as much feel comfortable asking for help from time to time so they don’t have to keep up the same level of spending and debt accumulation despite their earning power.
50/50 or 60/40 is also an option depending on who makes more money; make sure each person feels like they are contributing equally before deciding which route to take!
If you’re struggling with one partner controlling all of the finances in the relationship, talk about ways to change it (e.g., create a budget together that both partners can contribute towards) and what happens if there isn’t enough saved at one point when something comes up.
Clear Awareness
Finally, don’t use money as a bargaining tool. If there are other things that need fixing in your relationship then those should be addressed first before financial disagreements — otherwise, it can create resentment and more issues down the line!
Start with the little things and work your way up to larger problems. Bringing it all out in one big talk may create resentment or make you forget what was said, which can lead to more issues later on down the line. Communication is key for any relationship- this especially includes money!
When there are disagreements about finances, try not to get angry because anger will only exacerbate the problem and keep both of you stuck in negative emotions that do nothing but hurt your relationship. If something doesn’t feel right then trust yourself and don’t be afraid to say no when offered something that feels uncomfortable or wrong for you!
The best thing couples can do before making major purchases is sit down together, brainstorm a budget including savings goals, debt payoff, and monthly bills, then agree on how to achieve their goals together.
In a relationship, it’s important not only to talk about money but also to have an open line of communication so that you are fully aware of what is going on with each other financially. Knowing where your partner stands in terms of debt can help avoid future financial mistakes — for example, if your partner has credit card debt they should be the one paying off those balances first instead of incurring more new debt which could lead to even bigger problems later down the road!
So make sure you know how much debt there is at any given time by making payments online (you’ll get reminders!) or asking questions when something doesn’t seem right like bank statements coming up wrong because someone might be making purchases without letting the other person know.
“It’s money who teaches us who’s important and who’s not. Even when you have it or don’t” – Nishan Panwar
What’s the bottom line?
When you and your partner are on the same page about money, it can be a powerful tool for creating memories. With these tips in mind, you should be able to turn any problem with money into an opportunity for growth.
Whether it’s too much or not enough, take some time together to work through issues related to finances so that they don’t become roadblocks in your relationship. Your financial goals will change over time as life changes, discuss them often!
You’ll both feel more empowered by this conversation because you have control over what happens next financially. Remember that communication is key when discussing all aspects of your lives including how you use the money within it. Take care of yourself first and then worry about others around you.
If you haven’t join medium but would love to, click here. By doing so, you’ll be supporting me as well. Thanks for reading!
This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Not all information will be accurate. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.
—
Previously Published on medium
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: iStock
