Does your relationship feel like you’re drowning in a pool of anxiety? I hope not. Because it wouldn’t be great to be in a relationship that feels like an endless rollercoaster of stress.
And when it feels like you’re on an endless search for validation for all the amazing yet overwhelming feelings you have for your woman, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by anxiety.
Especially when you’re often worried about her feelings and the status of the relationship because you’ll simply be in doubt.
Of course, we all know that relationships can be stressful at times and that everything can’t be cool and sweet all the time.
But what if the kind of stress we’re talking about isn’t temporary or justified stress but, like earlier mentioned, a rollercoaster of stress, doubts, and even emotional pain?
Because the stress that comes with dealing with a cheating partner, a habitual liar, or a partner that behaves strangely and suspiciously is entirely different Since feelings of doubt, stress, or insecurities from any of such scenarios are quite normal and all come from a reasonable place.
What if it’s the kind of stress that often leaves one feeling endlessly disturbed, devastated, and less optimistic about other stresses he has to deal with in life?
Well, the truth is, if you often pay attention to most of a woman’s not-so-cool behaviors right from the beginning of your courting days or the beginning of the relationship, you’ll save yourself from such kinds of pain and stress.
So here are four types of women that are simply not worth your time and effort.
This knowledge might save you from staying too long in a wrong relationship or help you work on fixing some little but dangerous issues in a relationship earlier instead of regretting them later.
1. A woman that pressures you to compromise who you are.
I love my woman so much, but I just can’t feel like myself around her because she doesn’t make it easier.
It feels like I’m being pressured to play a certain role that isn’t true to myself.
I just want nothing but an authentic and fulfilling relationship, and mine doesn’t feel like it.
Does any of that sound familiar?
Yeah, I’ve been there too. But over time, I realized that I deserved better than someone who wouldn’t accept and love me for who I really am.
If a woman who claims to love me can’t do that, I’ll rather move on and find someone who will.
The blunt truth is, you don’t need a relationship where you can’t be your quirky self or say what’s on your mind without being scared of her disapproving response.
But if you want to be in a relationship that isn’t that stifling, you’ll first need to learn how to run away from any woman who’ll always want to change you, feel embarrassed by some aspects of your personality, or even compare you to others.
I promise you’ll have a better chance of attracting people who will appreciate how amazing you are, despite your flaws and all, when you master saying no to people who don’t.
Because any woman who’s in some way bent on pressuring you to compromise your values, beliefs, and who you are to please her isn’t worth your time and effort.
2. A woman that forces you into being an overly self-sacrificing lover.
I’ve spent most of my life putting up behaviors that are nothing more than a lack of knowledge of my self-worth and value.
As a result, I’ve found myself in a handful of relationships where I had to be a shameless self-sacrificial lover to make an overly incompatible relationship work in the past.
When I think of how emotionally stressful those relationships were, I can’t help but feel disappointed in myself for putting up with or tolerating partners who aren’t willing to make any effort to meet my needs or prioritize our relationship.
Back then, I was involved with a handful of women who’d rarely compromise no matter the reason, while I had to shoulder the responsibility for all the compromises required for the relationship to function.
Even though my values and priorities and those of my exes don’t differ so much that it’s impossible for us to often reach a compromise, they didn’t value me or the relationship enough to ever consider making compromises, even on matters like spending time together.
But over the last two and a half years, I’ve learned to love and value myself enough to no longer be that partner who’ll be saddled with all the giving while his partner does all the taking.
Through honest, open, and clear communication with potential partners and partners, I’ve learned to cut ties with women who are careless about my needs or about prioritizing our relationship as soon as it’s obvious that they will never compromise.
So instead of trying to slave my ass off to make a relationship with such types of stressful women work, I’d rather channel that energy somewhere else — toward seeking out a relationship with someone willing to compromise as much as I am to meet each other’s needs.
3. A woman you have to always prove your worth and love to.
Well, they probably won’t ever recognize your worth, no matter how hard you try. And you know it.
If it feels like you’re trying too hard to prove your value and worth to love interests or partners just to be accepted, loved, appreciated, and respected, you’re going through a draining and difficult dating or relationship experience.
But life will be so much easier with a partner who DOESN’T feed you lies like “you’re the best guy I’ve ever been with” while treating you worse than yesterday’s trash and keeping you around as probably the 4th or 5th best choice. Believe me, I’ve been there before, and I can tell you that it isn’t one of the best experiences.
Because I had to keep chasing her and trying too hard to prove to her that I’m worth her affection possibly more than other guys she had ever been involved with.
Looking at it critically, you can easily assume that it was all on me for placing her on a pedestal to the extent that I had to sell myself to her to win her love, affection, and whatever else.
While that might not be wrong, she indeed used a handful of manipulative words, methods, and tactics to keep me on an endless survival episode of trying to prove my love and worth to her.
Hence, if it feels like a love interest or partner is threatening my emotional well-being in this sense, I’ll cut them off, knowing full well that they aren’t worth my time and effort.
That’s why I want to urge you to always bear in mind, like I now do, that there’s somebody else out there for you whom you won’t need to sell yourself to — because they’ll know your value without you having to prove it all the time.
4. A woman who lives out of sync with her words.
We act and behave like we’re in a relationship, but she has countless times mentioned something that sounds like she doesn’t want to commit.
She never fails to remind me how much she loves and wants to be with me, but she doesn’t always act like it.
We are in a committed relationship, but it seems as if she’s too flaky and inconsistent to be reliable and dependable.
The truth is, you deserve better than any of these.
Even though we should know better to judge people by their actions instead of their words, we often end up in a web of denial, rationalizing, and minimizing when it comes to discrepancies between a partner’s words and actions.
Ignoring the fact that the words of a romantic partner don’t match their actions, as in the first scenario above when she acts and behaves like you’re a couple but says she doesn’t want to commit, you’ll be disrespecting yourself and, at the same time, permitting her to keep lessening her responsibility and managing down your expectations, while telling you that whatever you think or hope for the relationship doesn’t match hers.
Just like ignoring the discrepancy between her words and actions in the second scenario, where she claims to love you but doesn’t act like it, means you’re tolerating and even accepting the fact that she’ll never commit to you. Yeah, she’s only acting out of sync with her words because she doesn’t want to commit.
If you’re chasing a committed relationship with someone who will either tell you they love you but act in ways that prove otherwise, act like they’re into you but tell you otherwise, or completely go 180 on their promises and commitments, you’ll often be emotionally stressed and even drained.
And the truth is, a woman who behaves in any of these ways might not be emotionally aware enough to be anywhere close to a person of integrity, let alone a reliable or dependable partner.
Or they might be deliberately putting up such behaviors because they don’t really love you or have your best interests at heart. That’s why you’re better off without these types of people who aren’t worth the effort.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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