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One morning, I sat on my couch and asked myself one question: What makes me happy?
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Sometimes life gives you lemons and you make lemonade. Sometimes life throws you curveballs and you hit a homerun or maybe a grand slam. But sometimes, life throws you around and leaves you disheveled, beaten up, and you have to figure out how to get up, dust yourself off, and return to your normal life. This very thing happened to me at the beginning of 2012. I was a victim of corporate money mismanagement that resulted in a layoff. Two days later on New Year’s Day, my then-girlfriend ended our tumultuous relationship (I guess for her there was no romance without finance). In the span of three days, my life had been turned upside down. I did not know what to do and did not know where my life was going. I tried to get back into the swing of things by job hunting, dating, and going out, but none of those things were working. I was in beautiful, sunny San Diego and I was miserable.
One morning, I sat on my couch and asked myself one question: What makes me happy? Two things came to mind: Writing and traveling. I had been on and off writing my first book, but I wanted to seriously dedicate myself to doing it. I also wanted to backpack across a foreign land. So with the help of friends, I decided on a trek throughout Central America: starting in Honduras, working in Costa Rica, and ending in Nicaragua. I sold some of my personal possessions, donated the rest, and gave up my apartment. Central America, here I come! I didn’t have anything to lose and wanted to break free of this funk that I was in. Below are five things I learned while on the road that reset my life and made me truly see the silver lining of life.
Exiting the rat race: As far as I can remember, I had been competing to live up to this standard of what success was. “At this age, you have to make X amount of dollars, have this car, arrive at this point of my career… yada yada yada.” Trying to obtain this lifestyle was burning me out. I was depressed, drank way too much, and not motivated creatively. When I got a chance to escape the cubicle prison that is corporate America, I was given a chance to breathe. Little by little, my desire to keep up with the Joneses dissipated. I realized that the race was not important.
Experiencing these cultures and learning about different points of view has enriched who I am.
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Challenging oneself is a good thing – One of the greatest benefits I received from backpacking is that I encountered many different challenges. Whether it was communicating with someone in a different language, riding chicken buses from country to country, or even eating different types food that you’d never seen before, facing challenges and overcoming them is a good thing. As I learned how to navigate through the bush, wrangle out of being arrested in Costa Rica (true story), or even handle foreign currency, the adversity made me stronger.
Minimizing one’s life – In one month I went from having a one bedroom apartment with balcony, flat-screen TV, laptop, car, and full social card to carrying a backpack with all of my belongings. At first it was hard to let go of all of the material things I had accumulated. I missed going out to the latest bar, and eating at the chic restaurant. But three weeks into the trip, I didn’t even think about that stuff. It didn’t matter what TV show I was missing or what party I didn’t attend, I realized those things never made me happy. It was just crap I thought I needed and wanted. By having very few items, it made me appreciate not being chained to material things and a fake social life that was hoisted upon me.
Culture, culture, and more culture – While I was moving through Central America, I encountered so many different people that were not only native to each country, but fellow backpackers passing through as well. I had the pleasure of listening to Costa Rican’s sharing tales of their country’s resistance to America’s “Democracy”, resting in hammocks while learning about the Sandinista’s in Las Penitas (a small Nicaraguan fishing village), eating Baleadas in the hot Honduran sun, talking about British politics with a couple of young Londoners over beers, and learning German cuisine through Berliners. These interactions reiterated that there was life outside of my normal 9 to 5 and social circles. Experiencing these cultures and learning about different points of view has enriched who I am.
There is nothing wrong with pushing away from the rat race and saying “I want a break, I can’t take this shit anymore.”
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Getting back to loving me – Probably the most important thing I took away from traveling is that I fell back in love with who I was. I hadn’t been critical of myself, I was sleeping better, smiling more, and had this lust for life that had been missing. I had also regained my creativity that was missing. Exploring, learning, and coming into contact with so many different people, places, and experiences had awakened the person that was asleep.
After I came back from my nearly two month long excursion, my head was clear of all distractions, doubts, and disappointments that occupied space earlier. I felt different. When I visited my friend Alicia, she had mentioned how focused I was. I knew what made me happy, what I wanted, what I didn’t want, and I went after it. Over three years later, two books, countless essays, interviews, two IT certifications, a move to San Francisco, and a fantastic girlfriend resulted. As the young folks may say, “I got my swag back.”
I write this to tell everyone – sometimes life gets in the way of life and you have to unplug. There is nothing wrong with pushing away from the rat race and saying “I want a break, I can’t take this shit anymore.” We are not built to keep going and going. People need breaks. Sometimes stepping away from your everyday existence is needed. Now I am not saying abandon your family, leave your responsibilities, and travel around the world. What I am saying is that if things get to the point that you are unable to handle them, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself, “What makes me happy?” Maybe it is small changes you can make like taking a walk a day for some alone time, perform yoga to clear tension, or possibly big changes such as a new career or a new city, country, or even continent (if you can) to live in. Do not fear just putting things on pause or even starting over. I am glad I was able to stop, take a break, reset, and start over. It changed my life and if you have the chance to do the same, hopefully it will change yours.
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