Get Out of the Systemic and Institutional Box

We TALK about “outside the box” but as a society we are more in the “box” than ever. We’re about six feet under, by my calculation.

While this is not a piece about homeschooling per se, I think that the homeschooling community— or for grownups, the autodidact world/thinking — has much to offer all of us in how we can be in our world. One third of my pre-university years were spent learning at home, as were the last eight years of my youngest son’s. During this time was when I first began to feel that it is almost impossible to change systems from within. I used to think it was so important to be IN, in order to change. But it depletes and kills.

I was 44 when I went through the hoops of a Bachelor of Education degree, and I’ve spent 1.5 decades teaching in a post-secondary institution. My thinking has moved from a belief in change-from-within, to seeing the value of getting out and pressuring from another place. From outside.

Stepping outside

My son’s homeschooling years were the ultimate in autonomous learning — a gift here in British Columbia, Canada, a place in which you can simply register, and have complete freedom. (The “Minister of Independent Schools” has the right to examine what exactly you are doing… but since this was enshrined in our provincial education act, 1988, there have been no instances of anything being amiss. People do not take this choice lightly — you really are left on your own with no support beyond $125/year.)

This mode of learning is all about taking responsibility: for self, and self-learning; for the world around; and for community. You learn to build your life meaningfully and — on your own — to find others with whom to connect.

When you step aside from institutional living and existence, you begin to see differently. You seek out or even create other paradigms. This becomes energizing all in itself.

We have become a society that revers institution. We talk about “systemic” racism, sexism, ageism, etc (with apologies for the “etc” — it only means there are too many to list, which is regrettable. And bears real thought and consideration).

Really, the “system” and “institutions” are providing us with excuses. Systems and institutions are still — last time I checked — not created by AI, but by humans. Humans who seem determined to make everything as complicated and disheartening as it can possibly be. Maybe, if we are to escape systemic thinking, we need to walk away from systems — as much as possible.

I have recently left the employ of a post-secondary institution — one of the “top 40” in the world, was the brag —as it was feeling to be too much hoop-jumping and fill-in-blanks. Thoughtful processing and responding had long flown off and not come back with an olive branch. The work I signed up for — teaching writing, exploring stories in meaningful ways — was gone.

We need to take back our birthright:

Our birthright as humans: to think for ourselves, make decisions, choose paths. I also think that this also means finding ways to be together, to form and foster real community. But that is ahead of us. (Or have we left it behind and need to find it again?)

How might we do this?

Hierarchy

This is the bane of existence. We hear a lot about “patriarchy” but surely, if we toss hierarchy, that will take care of patriarchy, and we can bypass the matriarchy that, to my mind, will be an imitation of what we’ve had to now — I cannot see any reason to think otherwise. In 57 years of experience, I haven’t seen evidence that a group of women will re-envision the vertical. (Go ahead — blame it on the male role-models we grew up with or whatever… but let’s just move on to leveling out.)

The vertical has got to get back to horizontal; let’s take that lying down! Yes, I’m saying to stop the fighting, the competition. The crap.

I know… you’re thinking “that’s not possible,” and you’re right: it probably isn’t. Or at least, it isn’t, if you’re waiting for a system or institution to get it done! It will never happen. So do it in all the small and daily ways YOU can. On your own. Imagine, if everyone did this; it’s the same thing that would happen if soldiers refused to fight. It’s what unions were supposed to be about.

But one person can do this. And so can another. They can share their stories, and not with a view to self-righteousness or competitiveness. But just to share, and go about their day.

If you have to attend an institution of learning

Be thoughtful about it. Write that controversial paper. Speak up. From experience I do know the mental, physical, emotional wear and tear of this; it is not easy. It’s done me in, truth told. Well, not quite: I’m here, writing this. And at home writing stories… and I am breathing deeper, sleeping better. I laugh more. My hair has stopped falling out since walking way from that institution.

In the past half dozen years, the students I’ve worked with have been more head-down, nose-to-backsides and grindstone than ever before. They are too exhausted to speak up. But they need to. I’m realizing that too much of the time they don’t even know what to speak up about or to who. The pressure is on, to get that paper in hand, imposed by parents, society, and alas, self. Perhaps they can start with that last. Overthrow the tyranny of self. Step aside. Outside.

Or just “get a job”

If we are learning anything though this covid time, perhaps the message is that we can create ways to be independent. There are many work spheres that welcome people who are willing to work from “ground up.” It means beginning at the bottom, learning how to ask good questions, and remembering the answers!

Do not assume that your chosen career demands a degree — it may not. Or there may be another path to what you love — same engagement with what you connect to — but through another door.

Or perhaps you cannot bypass the education/paper, but once done, you can work for yourself or actively seek out like-minded people.

We have become so used to being told “how it is” that it’s a challenge to see beyond. If you find yourself saying, “I can’t do it that way,” pause.

My oldest son was set to go to film school, at $37,000 year tuition at the time. Then a friend whose father worked in the industry invited him to take a production assistant job. After some months of that work, and yes — asking questions, connecting with people — he took an inexpensive four week course in safety and more, and began to work as the lowest-rung grip. Over a few years (less than the time it takes to get a degree, and without the debt or anxiety — that has cost, too) he has worked his way up to key grip.

Once he was actually working on set, he realized — quickly — that film-work is a sphere in which education does not count. In fact, they’re rather nasty to film school graduates who think they know what it’s all about, and they tend to reward those who just climb on board, set to work, and learn.

Have we come back to the autodidact/homeschooling place? Sort of.

The change might not be something we’ll see in our lifetime

But the next time you find yourself waiting on an automated telephone system, or typing with the pre-recorded-responses of your local utilities site, instead of grumbling, consider how you might simplify the process, how you might bring some humanity back. Find a phone line to speak to a human, go negotiate with a person. Bring some thought and creativity to life. As much as possible.

Don’t be afraid to walk away. To find new ways. Spend time with humans — they’re pretty good, for the most part. And look for the sustaining — go for a hike, read a good novel. Maybe a poem.

This mode of being is about taking responsibility: build your life meaningfully and find others with whom to connect.

It may be a finger in the dike. But it is a finger in the dike.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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Photo credit: Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash