Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.
– Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
The late Brandon Lee was the son of the late martial arts legend Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee was one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century. Bruce Lee invented Jeet Kune Do that incorporated Wing Chun kung fu, boxing, wrestling, and other fighting styles. Bruce’s one-inch punch was legendary. He could generate amazing power with his punch within an inch distance that sent opponents flying backward.
Bruce Lee might be the GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) Martial Artist. Both Dana White (UFC) and Joe Rogan credit Bruce as the Father of Mixed Martial Arts. And they would know. Having trained in Aikido for 35 years, I’m Godan (5th degree black belt). I believe that Aikido Founder O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba is the GOAT. That’s just me. Really, who is the GOAT is always subjective. That applies to everything.
As a young boy, Bruce Lee inspired me to train in martial arts. Bruce wasn’t just handsome; he was beautiful with the perfect chiseled body. He was very strong and fast. He was also so cool. I was the short fat ugly kid, who thought that I would never be good enough. I wanted to be like Bruce Lee. Bruce gave me hope. That made a difference for a frightened little boy like me.
Bruce was 32 years old when he died, before the release of his iconic Enter the Dragon. Enter the Dragon became the global box office hit. Bruce Lee became the transcendent Hero. That Bruce was Chinese, Asian made it a bigger deal. His wife Linda Lee Caldwell said that her late husband’s greatest legacy was inspiring others to train in martial arts. I was one of them.
Brandon Lee trained with Bruce’s student the great Dan Inosanto in Jeet Kune Do. He became an accomplished martial artist. What were the great expectations for the son of Bruce Lee? Brandon must have endured unimaginable pressure in the no-win scenario.
Still, Brandon defined his own path in studying acting. He studied at the Strasberg Academy and with other acting teachers. He starred in several action movies before he landed The Crow, which was supposed to be his breakthrough role. Tragically, Brandon died in an accident on-set. The Crow was released posthumously after Brandon’s death and became a box office hit. That was very sad. I believe that Brandon would have been a movie super star.
6’ tall Brandon was charismatic and handsome like his father Bruce, who stood 5’7”. Brandon was the classic Hollywood Leading Man. He had his father’s power, speed, and grace. Surprisingly, his performance as Eric Draven in The Crow was funny, touching, and vulnerable. Brandon defined himself, his own greatness. As Dickens said, Brandon’s heart transformed “into a better shape”. However, whatever great expectations for Brandon would remain unfulfilled. His death was a profound loss.
19-year-old Bronny James is the son of NBA Champion Lebron James. Michael Jordan and Lebron James are two of the Greatest of All-Time NBA players. The majority of fans anoint MJ, the GOAT. I’m an outlier. I believe that Lebron is the GOAT. Michael won 6 NBA Championships. Lebron won 4. Playing in his 22nd NBA season, Lebron turns 40 years old in December. 6’9″, 250-pound Lebron still plays at such an elite level. Not only is Lebron a freak of nature, he’s the consummate basketball savant. He continually works on his game to be the greatest that he can be. All that makes Lebron the GOAT, at least for me.
The Los Angeles Lakers drafted 6’2” Bronny James in the second round of the NBA draft. That was the strategy to ensure that Lebron signed his contract extension with the Lakers. Bronny was the high school all-star. However, in his first year at USC he suffered a heart attack that revealed his congenital heart defect. Bronny plays with a pacemaker.
What are the great expectations for Bronny James? Will he be as great as his father Lebron James? In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth is the path to end suffering. Bronny has to find his own path to end suffering. Maybe he transforms his heart “into a better shape”. Bronny has to work on being the greatest he can be. That’s all he can do. That’s all we can do, too.
I did not have the pedigree or sources of greatness that Brandon Lee and Bronny James possessed. I was the 8-year-old boy, who was Dad’s greatest disappointment in life. Dad was handsome with a lean athletic body. I was the short fat ugly geek, who wasn’t good at any sports. Back then, Dad scared the hell out of me. I never knew what I did or didn’t do that got him so angry at me. I just knew that I sucked. My great expectation was to be strong enough to make Dad love me. Be more like him. Although I had no idea how to do that. I was so very sad.
In high school, I fell in love with Shakespeare and English Literature. I wanted to be a great writer. Yet, I knew that I wasn’t good enough to make a living as a writer. I was way better at math and science. So, I chose that path. I forfeited my great expectations of becoming a writer. I studied Electrical Engineering. I’ve had a good career as a Satellite Systems Engineer.
When I was 12-years-old, Mom made me take Aikido. Although Aikido was the only physical thing that I was good at, I quit to concentrate on my studies at Iolani School, the college prep school that my parents paid a lot of money for at the time. I forfeited my great expectations of becoming a black belt.
After graduate school, I moved to Los Angeles for my career in Satellite Systems Engineering. I started training again in Aikido with the late Mizukami Sensei. Sensei became a father to me. He taught me Aikido, what it is to be a good man, and be of service to others. Sensei said, “Just train. It’s not like you have to get somewhere.” So, I just trained. I’m Godan, because of Mizukami Sensei. As a Sensei, I give to others all that Sensei bestowed to me. In that way, I’m like Bruce Lee and Mizukami Sensei. As a little boy, I wanted to be strong. Now, I teach others to be strong. I’m grateful for that possibility.
I work with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. Instead of writing a list of qualities I wanted in woman for a romantic relationship, I wrote a book. WTF? My dear friend from high school Ken Goldstein, a 2-time Bestselling Author, suggested that I self-publish my book. Ken said that there was audience for what I wrote. So, I did.
No, my book was no fairytale best seller. Still, that led to writing for The Good Men Project with my editors Li M Blacker and Lisa Hickey. I write about loving and forgiving thine own self on the path to end suffering.
There will always be great expectations for us, our own or those imposed by others. That’s our human design. That’s just life. On my path to end suffering, I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do. I don’t work on being the greatest, the GOAT. I work on being the greatest that I can be. My expectation is that I become a better person everyday. Just train.
I’ll never be the GOAT of anything. I’m good with that. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I just train. It’s not like I have to get somewhere. My heart may bend and break into “a better shape”. That’s the idea.
—
Photo: iStock – “Dickens, Great Expectations: Young Pip and Estella, a contemptuous toss”
