There are various reasons why people stay in miserable marriages. If you fit that description, you might believe that happiness is beyond your reach. But remember, even in a challenging situation, you can find happiness for yourself by engaging in happy behaviors. You may also be able to improve your marriage to move toward happiness as a couple.
1. Find ways to express gratitude.
Being thankful is not always simple, especially when you’re in a horrible relationship. Nevertheless, feeling grateful can make it easier for you to deal with the problematic relationship and perhaps make you happier.
Find some time each day to reflect on your blessings. Consider keeping a gratitude journal where you can write down a few things each day. Social media posts are another option for this. Even under difficult circumstances, you can typically find something for which to be thankful.
For instance, you might not enjoy the way you are being treated in your relationship yet be appreciative of your current level of financial security. Alternately, perhaps you’re happy that your partner is still a decent parent to your children.
2. Take part in flow activities.
Flow moments occur when you are immersed in what you are doing and lose yourself in the experience. This kind of sensation might be familiar to you if you’re an artist, writer, or even runner. When the outside world disappears and you are only experiencing or enjoying what you are doing, that is when it happens. According to studies, having more “flow moments” makes you happier overall.
To truly lose yourself in an activity, pick one that tests you just a little bit while yet being comfortable for you. If you like painting landscapes, for instance, you might try painting something new, like a portrait or a basket of fruit.
3. Quit engaging in the same conflicts.
That is, if you consistently find yourself battling the same issues, it might be time to move on from them. You must either determine that you won’t talk about it since you can’t come to an agreement or try to reach an amicable compromise.
You might wish to designate politics off-limits if, for instance, you frequently argue about politics. Alternatively, you could wish to alternate picking the movie if you frequently argue over what to watch on Friday nights.
4. Grow your hobbies.
It could be time to find fulfillment outside of your marriage, but not through an affair, if your marriage isn’t what you want it to be. It will keep you autonomous, joyful, and interested in the world if you have your interests and hobbies. Even n if you have a terrific marriage, it’s a good idea to pursue your hobbies.
Think about finding out more about your interests at the library, joining a local hobby group or cooking class, or enrolling in a vocational course at a community college close by.
5. Try giving back.
Another great method to feel joyful is to have a purpose in life and some strong social ties.
Volunteering allows you to become a volunteer and might offer you a feeling of purpose in life. It might be a nice activity for the two of you to engage in together. You might even ask your partner if they’d want to volunteer with you.
6. Expand your social network.
Relationships are important to happiness, according to numerous research.
If your primary connection is miserable, you might not see a way to improve things. Your spouse doesn’t need to be ber primary social contact. Both your interactions with family members and your friends can be enjoyable.
Try to go out to supper with friends at least once a week, or organize a day of shopping or an activity like tennis or swimming with a sibling or cousin.
Try to meet more individuals who share your interests if you don’t have many buddies. You may, for instance, enroll in an art class, join a bowling league, or look for a choir or band that is looking for new members.
7. Spend time together.
Making time for one another demonstrates your commitment to one another. Set aside a specific amount of time each week to spend with each other and stick to it. Additionally, it will provide you with an opportunity to reconnect with one another.
8. Keep in mind your values.
You were probably drawn to the other person in part because of their differences when you initially started dating. For instance, you might have found it thrilling that he or she was impetuous and enjoyed spontaneity. You now realize that you detest the quality. The trick is to try to recall why you initially cherished that characteristic and work toward doing so once more.
When your husband wants to stop everything and travel to the mountains, for instance, it could drive you insane. However, it prevents your life from being overly monotonous. Strike a balance, and take pleasure in what you can.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Jordan Bauer on Unsplash