I’m at a bar with a few friends. One of the guys I know has placed a moratorium on dating. He wanted a few months out of the relationship grind.
But the women are hard to hold back.
He’s handsome, kind, and a good guy.
“It’s almost March 1st,” I say jokingly.
It’s a nod to the day he’s lifting his self-imposed dating and relationship ban. I can’t help but tease him. I’m intrigued as to why he’s chosen this particular day to free himself.
“We’re all getting together that day,” I say. “It’s a can’t miss moment. But it’s going to be tough for you to make it that long.”
I’m joking with him because one girl has her eye on him.
“It’s definitely going to be March 1st,” he says. “February 21st is National Breakup Day.”
“Good thinking,” I say.
In reality, my friend ended a relationship last year. He wanted to get through the holidays. All of them. This would include heavily weighted dating pressures like Valentine’s Day.
He’s not wrong though.
Who wouldn’t want to wait until after National Breakup Day…to date?
That is, if you imposed a moratorium on such things.
I’ve spent more than a decade in the counseling and research of love and relationships. I’m a relationship columnist, contributor to numerous media outlets, and an expert source for various publications.
Yet I’ve never celebrated this holiday.
But I may this year.
After all, I’m recently bitter-hearted…I mean broken-hearted.
I might need to party on February 21st, National Breakup Day. Not to be confused with the ‘most popular’ day to break up. December 11th has the unofficial International moniker of Break Up Day.
January has earned the title of National Breakup Month.
Suffice it to say…
December through February can prove brutal for the heart.
This is a lot, let me clarify.
In 2008, researchers utilized social media to analyze breakup data. December 11th emerged as the clear winner for cutting ties, dumping, or Splitsville.
This is the day most likely be told, “I think we should take a break.”
February 21st is National Breakup Day. It arrived on the relationship scene in 2006. It’s considered a holiday and therefore, not based on any romantic data.
Although holiday and heartache are somewhat of an oxymoron, or are they?
While it seems a negative nickname…
National Breakup Day is intended to be positive.
It’s about reflection, growth, self-care, and self-love. The day is meant to be devoted to remembering past love and relationships, and how you have emerged stronger from them.
It’s about moving forward, despite a broken heart.
It’s about being good to yourself and your memories.
It should be spent doing the activity of your choice. This could mean cocktails with friends, shopping, hiking, biking, pampering, journaling, or researching a new hobby.
Whatever the heart desires.
Sorry, did I just say that?!
It can mean whatever you want it to mean.
It’s a holiday, do what we do on holidays, and make your own traditions.
I haven’t decided what I’m doing yet. When I do, you can be sure I will let you know. I recognize National Breakup Day for the good-hearted (sorry there I go again) and well-intentioned meaning behind it.
It’s not sad.
It’s about indulging what drives us as human beings.
Love lavished and love lost.
The perpetual Yin and yang of the heart.
Let me double back to why we are most likely to get dumped during these harsh winter months. The theories revolve around the stress of the holidays and the start of a new year.
It’s why January has been dubbed National Breakup Month.
It’s also been called Divorce Month.
Because there’s a lot of ‘formal break ups’ going on after the holidays. Divorce filings historically spike in January, the start of ‘divorce season’ which lasts through the beginning of March.
There you have it.
The holidays and the new year.
The unsuspecting villains behind breakups.
I decided my friend was right. March 1st isn’t a bad relationship start date. I’m waiting to create my online dating profile until then. I want to make sure the winter months are behind me.
To stave off the bad breakup juju.
And…
I have a holiday to celebrate.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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