Here’s what I don’t publicly share — I am a homemaker. A wife. I’m a mother of three (under four) and I’m in the third trimester of my fourth pregnancy. From the moment my eyes open my headspace is between “get it done,” to “sit down a bit.”
Even when my heart is racing I am moving. When my body is still my mind turns the volume up to address all the topics which have been negated and neglected during my daily rush hours.
If you’ve read my biography, you know I’m a registered yoga, meditation, and breathwork instructor. I’m also an academic. However, being pregnant for nearly four years required me to take physical and mental breaks from the one hobby that has grounded and softened me.
Luckily, that’s mainly yoga. Before I close my eyes for sleep I get to close them for a while to reconnect to the part of me that is free from responsibility — the part that I command to simply be. My meditations are clear — I mediate from a need to connect, to understand, to have moments where I am seen and take up space.
In practice, I silence my thoughts to mute my ego. My ego has a lot to say. I need to send her away to pause the nagging and constant interruptions. In doing so I create space to appreciate the world my heart and body are existing in through whatever realm I choose to explore.
Before, when I first began practicing meditation I expected the impact to be more sustained. I expected to meditate for less than ten minutes and, like taking a pill, for its effects to remain stable for the rest of the day.
For me, and many caretakers, this is not realistic. You can’t expect to be cured simply because you silenced your mind for a few minutes out of the day. What happens for me instead is my thoughts, emotions and mindset get a fresh perspective on the happenings I’m experiencing. Instead of reacting to the events around me and keeping busy, I silence my mind to remind myself of the countless ideas, possibilities and realities.
If you ever considered meditation my hope is that this reflection may help you process the intention and purpose behind meditation differently. We all lead active lives with little time for leisure. The act of mediation is not meant to last the entire week but remind you of what your limitations and your possibities.
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Thanks for being here and for taking the time to read my article. I write to connect and to discuss. If you liked the article it helps others to find it when you hit clap 👏 . If you comment, we can make this place smaller and discuss it together. Comment below if you feel comfortable to do so.
I’m a researcher, registered yoga, meditation, and breathwork instructor, and writer. I aim to write articles that help my readers think, connect and grow. If you’d like more content, I write longer essays on Substack; click here for those.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Sage Friedman on Unsplash
