I Stole My Ex’s Girlfriend

I met her at an event for which I was one of the featured speakers. It was at a funky place called the Spider House, and I was giving a talk on how I got through a mastectomy with my femininity intact.

I’d invited several friends to hear me speak, including a guy I’d dated. We decided at some point that the spark was too tenuous to keep dating but we liked each other enough to remain friends. Hence the invite to the event. He, along with his new flame, got to sit in the VIP section along with the other friends I’d invited.

During the intermission, I went over to say hello and was introduced to the new girlfriend.

I liked her.

She was a younger version of me, in some ways. She was artsy and bright. She had no filter when it came to what she said. We appreciated our mutual honesty. It’s one way I bond with people.

She was thinner and had both her breasts and hair as thick as mine used to be before I had chemo. I suppose I could have been jealous. Instead, I just really liked her.

She liked me too. The warmth that sparked between us was more powerful than whatever either of us felt for her current guy, my old one.

I hesitate to call him a boyfriend. I’d only been out with him a few times, never made any promises or commitments. Never slipped him any tongue.

Months later, after she dumped him to move on to a younger, cuter man and he managed to get trapped into marriage to a horrible woman, we reminisced about the man we’d both dated.

“He was a nice guy,” I said. “I’m sorry he’s trapped with that woman.”

“He wanted someone to take control,” she said. “And he found someone.”

While she and I are both strong women, neither of us wants that kind of power over someone else. It’s too much responsibility. I screw up my own life enough, I don’t need to accidentally screw up anyone else.

“You know the best thing about my dating him?” she asked.

I shook my head, curious.

“It brought me to you,” she said.

I had to agree. “I am really grateful for that,” I said because I was. “That was the best thing about dating him, I got to meet you through him.”

We didn’t need to say much after that. We could sit in silence, sipping our tea, in perfect harmony.

Love comes in many forms. Sometimes it comes through a potential romantic partner that doesn’t work out. Who determines if this is right or wrong? Love finds a way and sometimes it’s best to just accept how it slips through the cracks of our lives, like water searching for the deep ocean.

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Previously Published on medium

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