If you could choose to be other than you are, would you?
Yes, the world has gotten more accepting. More GLBTQ people are in the mainstream and while the 2016 political season is going to be a nail-biter for a lot of us, it’s easier to be not-straight than it used to be.
So what happened when a bunch of young, not-straight-identified people were asked if they wished they could be straight? Their answers might surprise you.
I’d love to see this repeated with older people – people in their 40s and 50s, 70s and 80s – who broke the ground for the generations that can now choose to live more freely. When they were young, would they have chosen to change themselves?
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h/t Queerty
JJ Vincent
I see myself as a heterosexual woman.
But many times I have wondered if my life had been a lot better if I should simply switch over and become a lesbian.
Why?
I am afraid of men, and therapy never managed to heal me from this fear.
Still I do not feel it is possible to switch over .
Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I should say pan sexual is something to move towards as a good idea.
Fall in love with person.
JJ, did you change your photo?
I imagine most gay people wouldn’t choose to be straight, despite the obvious advantage of being socially acceptable in every society. Some things are such a part of one’s identity that on some level, it’d seem like you wouldn’t feel right as having a different sexual orientation, or gender, or whatever. Then again, if you could do it and somehow feel “right” with it…I think I might do it, as long as I could switch back, if for no other reason than to learn the sociological truths: like what Tom was asking–how bad is it? (I’m a SWcM, so I… Read more »
I’m not good with remembering names or avatars, but I think Tom’s comments are usually constructive. Anyway, in this case, I think he raises a valid question, and one that’s applicable, and all too infrequent, to all discussions of social justice: how bad is it, really? My own opinion is that homophobia is still very much alive and well, especially in less cosmopolitan communities. Nevertheless, people can be as overly-sensitive as much as others are insensitive. Far too many members of any given oppressed class, and even guilt-ridden people in the oppressor class for that matter, assign a false dichotomy… Read more »
Tom: I think you confuse sarcasm, cynicism, and attack for constructive dialogue, discussion, and debate. Here at the Good Men Project, we encourage a respectful exchange of ideas. In the many responses you have given, I have not seen much respect for ideas or for people in your words. I would hope you could raise your level of discourse and give the authors and responders the respect they deserve.
Seriously Warren, where did I “disrespect” anyone? I simply pointed out where society, on a grand scale, is not as intolerant as it’s shown to be. Is there intolerance? You betcha but I struggle with it being shown on a grand scale.
What happen to the unbearable rampant homophobia that exists in every corner of society? There are still many denominations that don’t accept gays and certainly don’t accept gay marriage. So from my perspective, looking at how narrow minded and mean society is, I would think that gays would be okay with being straight.;
But then again perhaps it’s not that horrible homophobic society that the LGBTQ community is trying to claim it is?
Tom, I hope you can begin to contribute in constructive ways. it would surely be a refreshing change. Why don’t you write an editorial, and we can comment.
I think I made my point.
“Narrow minded and mean” pretty much describes your m.o. on any article about gay men.
Not at all narrow minded. Just because I don’t believe in something doesn’t make me narrow minded. I prefer Ford trucks, I totally dislike Toyota trucks … makes me narrow minded? In so far as my being “mean” is all a perception. I’ve worked with adolescent teens for 15+ years but they didn’t use the term “mean” they used the term “hard ass” and all I can say is that I am who I am. I will give you the shirt off my back but that doesn’t mean I have to accept anything and everything that comes my way. You… Read more »
To Tom: In response to my writing, I always welcome constructive critique, dialogue, discussion, and debate. Through the process of constructive engagement with my readers, I sharpen my thinking, correct inaccuracies, expand my analyses, and on occasion, gain long-term friendships. At times, however, as is clearly evident with your response begining “What happen to the unbearable rampant homophobia that exists in every corner of society?” above, you as well as a consistent core of individuals routinely reject me and my ideas through sarcasm, cynicism, and vitriolic attack while offering little or no reasoned arguments or evidence as backup. Rather, you… Read more »
Warren, as they said in a movie I can’t remember the name of at the moment .. “I love ya like my drapes but….” I think you presume people like me don’t listen but in fact we do. In the 15+ years of working with adolescent boys and their families in treatment, I’ve learned to try to break things down especially when I pick up inconsistencies so as to bring clarity. Fortunately or maybe unfortunately the few gay friends I have are VERY successful. I’ve witnessed their lives as having no impediments. One of them was my late brothers partner… Read more »
Why do we never ask this question of straight people: If you could choose to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trans*, would you?
Check out the “Heterosexual Questionnaire” to see how rediculous are the questions usually asked of LGBT people.
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/223-lessons
Heterosexuality is a societal norm so it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to ask that question. Personally, I wish this question wasn’t even asked. I’m a smoker and people have asked, if you had a choice would you rather be a non-smoker? My answer is no. In a realistic sense where it related to valid health issues relating to smoking ( having 6 heart attacks) my answer should be yes. I enjoy smoking. My wife is Mexican and if she was asked if you have a choice to be Caucasian if she could, I would venture to say that… Read more »
At first, I thought, “well, duh, we don’t ask it of straight people, because straight people aren’t marginalized and oppressed.” Then I thought about it. Not having to really deal with women. Huh. Interesting… Nah, I like women. Most of the time. And I don’t know if I’d be any happier with men, anyway.