Indiscipline

Legendary Progressive Rock Band King Crimson’s “Indiscipline” is a joyful story about a conversation between vocalist Adrian Belew and his then-spouse. In the lyrics, she talks about a painting that she keeps returning to and deciding if it’s enough. If it’s good enough to be complete.

For several days in a row, I’ve spend parts of my evenings reviewing notes on my phone where I have a running list of lines and other things that might make it into something down the road. There is one line I’ve been holding on to for nearly a year that is now at the top of the list. During those reviews, it struck me that the self-torturing approach is something that applies to almost every work.

From verse 1.

I do remember one thing
It took hours and hours but..
By the time I was done with it
I was so involved, I didn’t know what to think
I carried it around with me for days and days..
Playing little games Like not looking at it for a whole day
And then, looking at it
To see if I still liked it
I did!

Whenever I get this line right, this is almost identical to how I will tell the story of coming up with it. This is why it is taking so long to get it right.

From verse 2.

I repeat myself when under stress….

I’ve been told that this is a common trait among people with anxiety. Some of my grade school teachers told me I was doing this. It’s taken years to work on, and I still occasionally do it. In application to writing, I might repeat myself under a deadline or to hear how something sounds. Rarely, does writing ever put me under stress. Work is therapeutic.

The more I look at it. The more I like it!

When a good line, good paragraph, good piece is complete, the more I like it. The more I like it, the more ready I feel to potentially put it out there.

No matter how closely I study it.
No matter how I take it apart.
No matter how I’ll break it down.
It remains consistent.

Eventually, I have to stop revising. Revising is still a favourite part of the whole process. When this one little line I am working on remains consistent, it will be complete.

I wish you were here to see it!

If a colleague was in my home office or out with me for a meeting, then maybe I will show them the line. But I am not sending it out into the cyber sea until it’s final and forged into something! There is no set rules in the creative process. Discipline is a good thing to have. Indiscipline should be viewed as an expansion of a writers’ artistic palette.

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This post was previously published on Dannalexander.com.

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