Is Happiness the New Success?

Today’s society is enamored with wealth and success. We watch reality shows where people flaunt their (often times bogus) posh, overindulgent lives. We follow celebrities, CEOs, movie moguls and Silicon Valley executives, all to have a glimpse of what the movers and shakers of the world are doing. Hoping that somehow it will rub off on us. But upon examining those people that seemingly have everything, they may be successful and wealthy, but are they happy?

A few years back my husband accepted a job at a company based in San Francisco, which meant we would have to relocate back to the West from the North East. When my husband told me about the job offer I wasn’t on board. We had just bought a house, my son made friends, and we had family nearby. Our son was finally able to make connections with family that he only saw at best once a year. How could we leave so soon? But how do you tell your husband who worked so hard to reach the pinnacle of his career that you were not having it? I eventually acquiesced. He took the job and once again we were living on two separate coasts until we could sell our house. We lived in the home for only about six months at that point.

My husband found a beautiful gated enclave with rolling hills, custom homes and pristine lawns. It was exquisite. It was everything that you would expect of California and all its excess. We joined the country club so that we would feel like we were part of an instant community. I was supposed to be happy, right? But I wasn’t. I’m not going to say we didn’t enjoy our time there because we did. Looking back on it now we realize what an amazing adventure it was. We loved the rugged coastline with all it’s cliffs and beaches, the wineries, the mountains, as well as the memories and friends we made there. But the title, the money and the lifestyle wasn’t worth the sacrifice. We had uprooted our family again and were even farther from our relatives. We just weren’t happy, it put a strain on all of us and it made us realize what was truly important in our lives.

How do we measure success? Is it all about social status, title and money or is it about what makes someone happy? Society tells us that the only way we are successful is if we have a new car, wear the trendiest clothes, have a large home, the latest technology, spend more than one makes and compare ourselves to people on television and in the media. But if one is not content with themself and their own life, then all the money in the world won’t give them joy. Happiness comes from within. It is a mindset. A person can have very little and can still feel blessed with their life. It’s all about your point of view. Sometimes people expend their energy on things that will bring them prosperity but ignore what really matters, such as their health, family and friends. Someone that makes 50 thousand dollars a year but has time to coach his or her son’s football team is even more successful than an individual who makes triple that but works all the time and never sees their family. Real success is in the relationships you have with others. To give of oneself is among the most generous things a person can do. A life that one finds pleasure in and also has meaningful connections, that is what true success is.

We look vicariously at the lives of the rich and famous and idolize them. We think the grass is greener. But when you get close enough you realize the green grass on the other side of the fence is really just green spray painted concrete.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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