Is LinkedIn the Best Way to Find Love?

When you get to a certain age, your dating pool turns into a dating swamp.
~ Anonymous

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It had been a few years since I’d last used LinkedIn — maybe in 2016 or 2017. Can’t recall the exact year, but it was a while ago.

Then, after leaving corporate life behind in late December 2019, L.I. was even further from my mind. I figured ‘what’s the point of re-activating my account if I’m not interested in using the site?’

Fast forward to October 2021.

Knowing I’d be leaving the U.S. to return to my ancestral land of Borikén, I started to re-evaluate what platforms would be of potential use for business connections. Since I had already started taking my writing seriously, I knew I needed to avail myself of as many tools as possible.

Re-enter LinkedIn.

It was slow going at first — I needed to update my profile, add past experience, and make new connections, in short… get reacclimated with the site. One of the things I noticed was that sometimes random folks wanted to connect. By ‘random’ I mean we had zero previous employers or academic affiliations in common.

No biggie. If they were from the same town, or my childhood hometown, or even had a language or other listed interest similar to mine, I might accept their request.

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The Hook-up Scout

But then, in mid-October, I got the following message from someone at my alma mater, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University.

Without checking out his profile, all I knew about him was the Riddle affiliation, his professional LOB and the brief info in that first message.

Initially, I figured he simply wanted to connect, but something about his word choice ‘chat to know each other’ got me thinking this guy’s headed somewhere else.

Still, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I’d been away from the platform for a long while, and people communicate differently. Maybe that was his way of starting small talk.

Somehow, I felt he was giving me an abbreviated version of his C.V.

Nearly two days later I replied, keeping it really casual by first letting him know he was using my last name and asking about his year of graduation. I was curious to know if we were at Riddle during the same — we might already have crossed paths.

Other than what he could’ve seen from my profile (if he had checked), I wasn’t going to share anything I felt was personal. To be clear, I didn’t feel threatened — I just didn’t find it necessary to give a bunch of details to a stranger.

Then, he hit me with this:

Wait what?!?

Did I miss something? When had LinkedIn turned into a social media dating site? I must have been asleep or super innocent. Either way, when he commented on my profile pic, then quickly followed up by asking about my marital status (while including his personal relationship details), I knew he was interested in much more than a professional connection.

Hmmmm………..yea, no thank you, sir!

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A Different Kind of Platform

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude. And, yes I know what it’s like to be single — it can be rough out there. When you really want to be in a cozy, cuddly, healthy relationship but the pickings are slim — it can be b*tch!!

Many of the years I spent being sans romantic liaison was by choice. So of course, getting back onto LinkedIn, the last thing I was thinking would be someone trying to hit on me.

I wasn’t even flattered though.

And here’s the thing, mister widowed pilot, soon-to-be-retired father-of-two-FAB-kids made zero effort to connect with me. I’m talking on a level other than ‘lemme kick it to her & see how far I get.’

Are people seriously using LinkedIn for dating?

Though I don’t recall doing a search back in Oct 2021, I did one in preparing this story. A few internet results.

Seven Reasons Why Everyone is Using LinkedIn for Dating (source: LinkedIn)
Some Are Using Tinder for Work and LinkedIn to Find Love (source: Insider)
Of Course, People are Using LinkedIn as a Dating Site (source: Glamour)
Amusing Gallery of Bold Attempts at Dating L.I. (source: Daily Mail)

And because some of you may not click on the above links, I just had to share these gems.

Thomas Timothy Tart, a Career Consultant at Greyscale Global LLC offers this —

Of course there will be a good amount accounts you see that are well below par, just like every dating site. Although LinkedIn isn’t a dating site, there’s a ton of great accounts with potential suitors, so if a couple people aren’t up to your standards, you’ve got plenty more to choose from, rather than having to jump ship and try another resource altogether.

In the Insider article, Senior Digital Culture Reporter Waiyee Yip brings news from her Singapore location.

Josh Ong was thrilled when he matched with a girl on Tinder who claimed to share his love for board games and anime.

As they began chatting on the dating app, the 27-year-old was convinced that he had found a potential romantic connection. That is, until their first date at a Starbucks outlet in Singapore, where she whipped out a folder of pamphlets and started promoting life insurance policies.

“I was so disappointed. It turns out that she already has a boyfriend, and she was just using Tinder to get clients,” Ong told Insider. “I don’t think that’s right when there are people like me who’re looking for real dates.”

Then, there’s this shared from Latoya Gayle at the Daily Mail gallery —

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The Takeaways

I couldn’t tell you if LinkedIn is an option for finding love. But, I can say if you’re going to use it as a dating site, do some research to see what folks are posting before reaching out to them.

Clearly, there are people who use it to date.

And I think I understand one reason why — it’s professional/safe. Let’s be real, the world is full of creeps (of all gender affiliations). So, narrowing down options with security in mind is important.

Though not taken by a professional photographer, my profile picture doesn’t scream ‘looking for love.’

At least now I’m not as naive. And yes, I still use the platform for marketing my business, Lola’s Lines.

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Gracias for reading.

If you enjoyed this piece (and your budget allows), consider inviting me to a Ko-Fi. I appreciate you.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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