
Let’s be honest. We all want a leg up on the competition in the dating game.
We want to know the tips and tricks that gain the attention of the person we are considering for an exclusive partnership.
The truth is that what you do early on sets the stage for the future.
I won’t speak for all men, but most of us decide on what level of pursuit we will commit to early in our experiences with women.
For example, if you meet a playboy who doesn’t take you seriously, I have to break some news to you.
You set yourself up for that. I am not saying you deserve that, but there are some building blocks you can put in place to avoid those types of men.
These are not “tricks;” they are honest ways to express yourself and position yourself for the man you want.
Yes, it is our job to pursue you, but your behaviors and actions during that time tell a man everything he wants to learn about you.
Let’s see what you should do to beat the competition and succeed in the dating market.
During this article, I’ll be honest with you. It is not an attempt to hurt your feelings, but I am here to tell you the truth.
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Downtime
I’ll begin with some brutal honesty. Men generally don’t care that much about what you do for a living. They don’t care what degree level you have or your rank in a company.
In some cases, it can turn a man off. That is not a way to impress most men.
Men care about what you do with the rest of your day. What do you do with your free time? You know, the portion of the day we compete to spend with you.
Talking about what you do in your free time is step one of weeding out the men that will waste your time.
If a man hears that your day is going to your job, then coming home and watching Netflix, he will treat you accordingly.
However
When your day sounds full of activities, such as: going to the gym, doing yoga, reading, or going to local shows or art venues, he will gauge how serious his pursuit of you will be.
He knows that your time is valuable and that he will need to stand out to receive attention. He will subconsciously know that he has to prioritize his pursuit of you.
A small caveat, don’t sound so busy that it seems like you don’t have time in your life for a man.
Back to the future
People like to dance around the truth in the initial dating stage.
It makes sense to want to put your best showing of yourself on display.
I am not telling you to steer clear of that, but there is something you need to accomplish early on.
Be honest about the outcome you are looking for.
Men like to know whether they are wasting their time or if they are in pursuit of someone whose interests align with theirs.
You will get placed into a box without knowing you put yourself there if you are not intentional with your words.
I’ll show you two example sentences and what men hear when you say them.
“I don’t know, nothing too serious. If I meet the right person, I would want to explore a relationship.”
The translation is a man is going to go for a hook-up.
“I am intentional with my free time. I want someone who is a good communicator and ambitious. I won’t waste time with someone I don’t feel compatible with, but I want to take things slow.
The translation is a man trying to become your best option.
A small caveat, please don’t talk about how your desires result from your ex. We want to be your future, not a band-aid healing your past.
1:1
Men hate games. No, juicy intro, I am giving you the hard-core truth.
Delayed texting, minimal availability, and “thanks” without reciprocated meaningful words turn a man of value off.
I don’t care what anyone else tells you; that stuff might work on a lower-tier man dying to chase you, but a man with self-respect will turn the other way immediately.
Match the energy a man who is pursuing you is displaying. Sure, it is ok to be reserved and not show pursuit back.
Men know if they are worth your time, you’ll reciprocate interest.
Women who are “always busy” are unattractive. I don’t care what story you hear. It is an instant turnoff.
A woman who shows she values the time a man spends on her will increase his effort.
Of course, you will run into men who get complacent and comfortable thinking they have you in the bag.
Here are some quick examples of things you can do to show interest early.
- You present one date idea for every two to three date ideas a guy presents.
- Send a morning text about something he told you about himself or something he is interested in.
- Send a meme or a funny short video.
Ladies, men are so simple it’s damn near laughable.
A small caveat, there isn’t one. Show up too.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash





