Lao Tzu: Let Go and Feel Free Again

Letting go and holding on is paradoxical. They appear to be opposites, but they’re not. In fact, one cannot exist without the other. Both letting go and holding on are essential for a good, simple, meaningful life to continue.

Letting go and holding on are two sides of the same coin. So often, we think of these actions as opposites — one is a passive, pessimistic action, while the other is an active, optimistic action.

We tend to associate letting go with giving up and not caring about something anymore, whereas holding on means we care so much that we won’t let anything or anyone get in our way. Letting go means releasing unhelpful or negative thoughts and emotions and embracing healthy ones instead.

It also means detaching yourself from people, places, objects, and situations that don’t serve your highest good. Holding on means recognising those things that do serve your highest good, those things you want to keep in your life forever.

Letting go is an art that few people know how to practice well. It’s also something that many of us need to learn fast if we want to live stress-free and emotionally healthy lives. Stress is directly related to holding on too tightly.

We need a balance between letting go and holding on so we can find peace in our lives once again. Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring — it means you start caring about more meaningful things than the things you let go of so that your time and energy is spent more wisely going forward.

Letting go feels like a natural part of life and something that can’t be controlled or influenced. It just happens. However, the famous saying ‘you must know how to hold on tight and let go at the right moment’ implies that there is more to it than meets the eye.

Letting go isn’t just about releasing your grasp on something; it requires careful consideration, control, and execution. But why? Letting go has many benefits. It eases stress, improves your circulation, helps you sleep better, and leaves you with more time for yourself.

All of these are excellent reasons to get acquainted with letting go as an art — because no one is meant to stay in this process forever. At some point, holding on tight and letting go will be necessary for the good of your well-being.

One of the most important things you can do to let go is to recognise your limitations. You must accept that you cannot do everything yourself and that there are things you cannot control.

When you understand these limitations, it will become easier to accept that you cannot change some things and need to accept them. You also must learn how to forgive yourself and others for inevitable mistakes.

For example, if someone makes a mistake, you should not blame or take your frustrations on them without thinking through the causes and effects. Instead, try to understand why they made this decision and how it might have affected them somehow.

By accepting this reality and forgiving yourself and others for mistakes, you will be able to let go of your anger and frustration.

The wisdom of Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu’s teachings have inspired people for centuries. The Tao Te Ching, like other sages before it, has its share of wisdom on how to let go.

“The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion,” says Lao Tzu.

Letting go is central to living an emotionally free life. Letting go is a major tenet of Stoicism, which holds that the true path to happiness lies in refining our ability to detach from desire and anxiety.

“You cannot really lose anything because you don’t own anything in the first place. Not the stuff you have, nor your spouse, nor your property. They are given to you to keep temporarily. So never say, “I have lost something.” You just returned it,” Epictetus said.

In Lao Tzu’s philosophy, letting go means realising that there is no need for everything to be perfect right now. Instead of clinging to what could have been or should be, one can focus on life happening right now and accept things as they are without judgment or regret.

We can learn to relax and find peace within ourselves, so we can live our lives fully now and not worry about the past.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them — that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like,” Lao Tzu said.

There are some situations in life you cannot control. You can give your best to improve things, but sometimes, whatever you do won’t help because some things are out of your control.

In one of his famous quotes, the ancient philosopher Lao Tzu realised this and said that refusing to acknowledge something won’t make it disappear.

“If you realise that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve,” says Tzu.

Letting go is an art that many of us struggle with. Whether it is anger, resentment, or simply holding onto something too tightly, we tend to hold on to things a little too much, making us miserable in the long run.

Letting go isn’t about denying or ignoring something but accepting that things won’t always go your way and that there is nothing you can do about it. Letting go is not an easy thing to do.

When you’re holding on, it feels like the right thing to do. But when you let go, you risk ending up with nothing.

Letting go can feel like a betrayal of everything that matters — but it’s not. Letting go is about releasing whatever it is that’s troubling you so that you can move forward. Letting go is the only way to stay sane, happy and healthy in the long run.

It’s about trusting yourself and your instincts, seeing new possibilities instead of old limits and believing that focusing on the essentials in life is a better approach to life.

Finding balance

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” — Rumi

Life is full of ups and downs. It’s impossible to avoid all stressors, or negative experiences, in life. But, how you respond to these stressors and negative experiences can have a lasting impact on your life.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up or surrendering. Instead, it means releasing fear, anxiety, or any other emotion that’s keeping you from becoming a better version of yourself — holding on to the essential things in life.

You can’t control every outcome or circumstance in your life. But you can control how you respond to them — and that will determine how happy and fulfilled you are in the long run.

Balance is an important part of life. Without balance, we either fall over or fly off in one direction. We must find the perfect balance of holding on and letting go to live life to its fullest.

You find peace and feel free when you drop the emotional baggage. “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present,” Lao Tzu said.

Letting go isn’t easy for most of us. We tend to cling to what we know or the past because change means uncertainty and risk. In a world of constant change and uncertainty, Lao Tzu reminds us repeatedly that what is truly important in life cannot be held, bought, sold, or traded. “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be,” Lao Tzu said.

He argues that we can only open ourselves up to new possibilities by letting go of our old understandings. Letting go isn’t just something we do once; it has to become an ongoing practice in our lives so that we stay receptive to growth and change as we age.

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This post was previously published on Thomas Oppong’s blog.

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