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Lindsay Young, performing “Social Anxiety”.
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Button Poetry is committed to developing a coherent and effective system of production, distribution, promotion and fundraising for spoken word and performance poetry.
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Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)
0:01
I’m confident I’m happy I’m okay I’m
0:08
confident I’m happy I’m okay I’m an
0:14
island in a dark room someone asks how
0:17
I’ve been offers me a drink I trip over
0:20
two words I’m confident we both laugh
0:23
I’m a I don’t speak until I have
0:25
rehearsed things better I feel my arms
0:28
crossed
0:29
I feel the conversation run off without
0:31
me I have failed again I am two blocks
0:33
away a girl that’s known me 12 years
0:35
lives on the street that touches mine
0:37
I want to ring her doorbell I want to
0:40
invite her back to my room with our
0:41
first bottles of something stolen I’m
0:43
matching lies to my mother’s I’m
0:45
matching outfits always the same size
0:47
but I’m afraid she can feel my sweating
0:49
hands see the way my jaw locks when I
0:52
run out of small words that she’ll turn
0:54
and disappear into this silence that
0:56
I’ve built I’m happy I stay exactly
0:58
where I am scared to turn her to
1:01
stranger right in front of me
1:02
I walk into a room with poets I shrink
1:05
down to the size of my shoes I’m in love
1:08
with this room and I let it walk all
1:10
over me bow my head whenever a familiar
1:13
phrase meant threatens a smile or a
1:15
question a room for me to be I am okay I
1:18
repeat this prayer until the death of my
1:20
own heart beat is not filling my ears
1:22
until I’m speaking and not sinking I am
1:25
happy until I am shaking and not shaking
1:28
I am happy until I am NOT making the
1:30
same mistakes every time I break silence
1:32
every time I do not forgive myself for
1:35
being afraid for being small for being a
1:38
puddle disguised as ocean I’m confident
1:40
I’m happy I’m okay I repeat these lies
1:43
10 times a day my therapist says if I
1:46
say them enough the fear of my own
1:49
breath will disappear I will stop trying
1:51
to cut out my own tongue I can keep calm
1:54
and mean it
1:59
you
1:59
[Music]
2:00
[Applause]
—
This post was previously published on YouTube.
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